Sza would have killed me from self inflicted suicidal gesture if I had not been rescued by my father apologizing to me for his incestuous behavior towards me when I was a little girl, number one. Also, for the fact that I fell suddenly out of love with my ex husband, who I had been pining over for 20 years. Don’t ask me why, he was very abusive towards me when we were married and one day, after 20 years of post divorce pining, I just woke up one day and realized he was nothing to get all worked up over. I realized he was just an ordinary, boring man. And that was it for me. Pining over. Around that time, my pdoc put me on a mood stabilizer called Tegretol or carbamazepine. After a few days on that, I could feel my mood go up literally like an elevator. Never to go down again. That was back in 2004. I haven’t been on Tegretol for several years now, and I don’t need it. My mood is quite good, thank you.
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Thats great Gina…
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I’m glad for you @Gina2 early on in my discovery that I had been delusional and all the grandiose things I believed were just lies. I became suicidal and planned my death twice, carried out the first one on O D ing on pills…the second time I just found a gun and fooled around with it for a couple of hours until I realized that it is not my life to take and that God still has a plan for me…now I’m happy too…
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Oh, @jukebox, I’m so glad you didn’t use that gun! I’m so glad you are happy now and decided that your Higher Power has a plan for your life. I believe He has a plan for my life too!
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I’m happy for you Gina.
I really am 
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