I am as I’ve always been for the most part . Less reactive to negative experiences . Less likely to have a meltdown . That’s about it .
i cant even have a good self image no matter what i do. i dont acknowledge the good! like i cant see it. in a pit or something.
Schizophrenia ruined nearly every aspect of my life …
I hate it.
With sza, I have no motivation, am less intelligent, can’t concentrate, and have other typical sza traits. However, because of it, I am more empathetic (towards the mentally ill, for example). Before, I would have just been scared of everyone different. Now, I really try to understand them and genuinely care.
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Before sza I was nervous and shy
After sza I was even more nervous and shy
But what changed was before sza I was dedicated and motivated and now I have a lot of avolition. Starting to be motivated to write again but with most things I’m still pretty unmotivated. It comes and goes in cycles. Sooner or later I crash and stop my writing and say what’s the use and do nothing.
So when I’m motivated at all I “make hay while the sun shines” Like now - I’ve been working on five writing projects.
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