To start , I am a 16 year old male, and in my opinion incredibly smart. I excel in school, Participate in an Early College program and for the most part am really social. I am what can be called a “class clown” and often find myself telling jokes or getting in trouble at school. I’ve also learned to act dumb enough to move forward and get ahead, as weird as it may sound this is an incredible advantage. Recently I’ve had some questions on my mind and have been experiencing symptoms I have concern for. For some reason I am extremely paranoid of becoming schizophrenic and I have been for some time. I truly believe that when I’m older I will develop it, I don’t know why but no matter how hard I try I can’t get that though out of my head; that I WILL develop schizophrenia. I fell as if it’s just my destiny. My mood is constantly changing and varies daily, I can be completely happy one day, and the next be incredibly sad an unmotivated. I often feel as if I’m uncared for and forgotten, or that I’m not approved of. I am big on my appearance as I often feel as if people are always watching and judging me. (Not sure if this is just the fact that I’m a teen looking to fit in).
I am unorganized and I often find myself speaking really fast and unclearly. I always have so many thoughts and ideas in my head, ideas that most of my peers wouldn’t be able to even comprehend because of the complexity and meaningfulness I have behind them. I try to speak clearly in ways people can understand me and end up frustrated. I can never explain myself how I wish I could. (I’m not very confident, and am afraid of being judged, so maybe this is just because I don’t want people to consider what I’m saying stupid).
Recently I’ve been having ringing in my ear, and this often came with pain. The doctor confirmed I didn’t have any sort of ear infection. I hear a high pitched buzzing coming from the inside of me.
I haven’t had any sort of testing for schizophrenia , and am afraid of asking as I have before. My mother disregards it and thinks I’m just being paranoid, and I know for a fact would never even consider that I may have schizophrenia.
My last thing to add is that I am genetically pre-disposed to the disease. My father, who had around 9 siblings (never know the real amount as some passed and are not spoken of) has 1 brother and 1 sister that developed schizophrenia. His brother was a genius math professor, who fell in love and had his heart broken. I believe at the time he was already experiencing symptoms, the breakup only fueled his depression and symptoms.
I’m not sure what the purpose of my post was, but I’ve really needed to let someone know of these concerns I have. Am I just being paranoid? What are the odds that I really may develop the disease, and how would I go about speaking with my mother? Should I just enjoy life, or really be concerned. I mean plenty of teens deal with crazy amounts of stress and depression, and with my body still developing maybe it’s just hormones, me what not. I really don’t know.
You have not said anything that would indicate psychosis at this point. The ringing in your ear sounds like tinnitus, which is a common thing a lot of people get. The rest sounds like typical teen stuff, unless it becomes so severe it influences your functioning or really badly affects your quality of life. That schizophrenia runs in your family is something to be concerned about though, so it is good you are keeping an eye out for anything abnormal. Make sure to see a professional right away if you become too concerned.
Big warning signs of psychosis are
-if you start getting paranoid about things that don’t make sense (for ex aliens are watching you or demons are following you, etc)
-if you have beliefs you think others would think you were crazy for (think you have magic powers, think you’re god, etc)
-if you are seeing things that are bizarre (i.e. Monsters, scary things, trippy things even without drugs) or hearing voices/clearly abnormal sounds (voices insulting you, narrating what you’re doing, etc)
My advice is for you to stay away from drugs.
You sound like a typical teen to me, it’s an ocward age to be and can come with insecurities and fears. Enjoy your youth and try not to dwell on these things. If your father was sz you would have about a 10 percentage chance of getting sz… if he didn’t I think your back down to the 1 percentage range. Lots of people have characters differences we all have our flaws. I have a son your age and he’s always wanting to go to the doctor for something I remember being that way at that age also. If your going to get sz it’s going to get very obvious and if so it’s quite possible that you may be the last to know. There is a time to reach out for medical help and if in doubt talk to a counselor or school nurse if your mom won’t listen. Always better to be safe and get a second opinion.
If you think you might have SZ, go to a doctor and get the ball rolling. IF it is SZ, the best prognosis comes from early detection and treatment. That’s being proven over and over. Be honest with doctors and parents and things will work themselves out.
Good luck.
Go on. Enjoy your life. If you get sz, you have had a fun time until then. If you don’t get sz, you did not spend 10 years worrying for something that never was.
If your mood swings become severe, depression with suicidal thoughts and happy, manic, episodes you should talk to a pdoc and get more info about bipolar disorder. But all teens have mood swings. It’s the severity that determines if you need a doctor’s assistance.
I have sz. The docs believe my son (teenager) has bipolar disorder.