At 6 AM I distilled cooking wine to drink for later. In group today I was talking about how the med side effects are unbearable at times and it makes me crave nicotine, alcohol, cannabis, dxm, etc. One of the counselors asked quite aggressively if I need hospitalized for a med change. They talked to me saying that since I have auditory hallucinations and that my behavior was desperate that I am unsafe. I never realized that the snarky remarks and the dialogues from other entities in my head count as voices I thought those were just my thoughts. I even explained that I hear them but not with my ears. You can imagine that I felt like they were too alarmed, distilled cooking wine is safe to drink since there is no salt, vinegar, or any other denaturants in it. I was able to convince them that I will wait until I see my psychiatrist Thursday to get her opinion. Were they correct? I don’t feel like it is that big of a problem. I am compliant with medication and treatment for the record.
As long as there is no risk of harm to oneself or others, or the voices cause terrible distress, then I don’t think hospitalisation will be needed.
I’d be surprised if they weren’t recommending hospitalization. Distilling cooking wine is the typical behaviour of someone well down the path to alcoholism. Its higher alcohol content also means it likely won’t play well with your meds. I’d suggest considering the admission and trying to get some time in with an addictions counselor while there.
It’s hard to deal with the sedation, negative symptoms, and depression all at the same time. I am afraid the pdoc won’t give me an antidepressant because I was manic on them. There are so many ideas I have for projects to do and the most I can manage to do is 10 minutes a day. I just want to function soon so I can complete my classes and do electrical engineering/programming projects for my enjoyment and resume. It’s frustrating how my symptoms are limiting my functioning, most my willpower is spent baring existing, I bet you can understand. I become less religious on meds and that makes it harder to cope with the suffering. Going back to the hospital seems too expensive, it was 22k for 4 days last time and insurance might not cover it this time.
If you can’t take an antidepressant, I would recommend exercising as much as possible. Long walks in nature can do miracles.
I also recommend walks, but if I were you, I would ask an elderly neighbor if they have a dog they would be willing to let you walk.
Helping your community, having a happy little dog walking with you, and a goal of exploration and exercise for eachother. I think sometimes that thats very beautiful and not an experience to take for granted.
I walk my dog infrequently and in this winter time its hard to motivate myself to even get her around the block, but I know for a fact that our walks have always felt at the end of them, like a good thing and something to look with pride on for the rest of the day.
We have a goldendoodle puppy so I got that covered. It will be fun especially with the snow and that we have woods on our property. When I walked her around I always felt better afterward, good advice.
hearing intrusive thoughts (a positive symptom) I believe looking into a med change is a very tame response from your friends. I think positive symptoms are relatively receptive to medicine so if you aren’t completely positive free, being mostly positive symptom free might be a goal worth trying for.
Talk to your care team, be realistic with them, and if they say you’ve likely expended your options, then I would say your work is done, but I would try to remain optimistic and it feels rough we’re here to talk.
I know that its rough going through med changes, I’ve run the gambit to be where I’m at now with Latuda, but Latuda is pretty darn good on me.
If you’re satisfied with the drugs you’re on, and don’t want to risk it, thats a whole nother matter, You’ve gotta be ready on your own terms for what may come.
Right now I’m struggling with indecision over whether or not I should try going to Vraylar but I don’t know if its good to do that because even if I come back to Latuda, it may never work the same way again. I’m very unsure about it, and will likely wait until I have more data on Vraylar and negative symptoms.
I am not sure whether I want to stop the Geodon and Lithium because the side effects are getting better especially in the last week. The only med I would switch to at this point is Latuda, it is similar and they were going to put me on it anyway. I think I am at the point where I can manage symptoms without a med change, my psychiatrist said that my depressed mood is to be expected and that it will get better. I’ll update you when I see her today, in the meantime I have been programming for 20 minutes so that is good.
I saw my psychiatrist and she recommended I change back to Invega but since she is a short term pdoc I should see another who can monitor my symptoms so I can do that. She also put me on a small dose of Lexapro and it is already helping. I am going to wait until after I complete my coursework to switch meds because that might interfere with my functioning. I also walked the dog, not very far since the weather is bad but still good.
Wow, 22000 dollars for four days!
Did I get that correct? They are ripping you off.
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