Surely that sound will be the death of me

I heard what sounded like a missile coming outside my apartment this morning…apparently some workers are working, but it sounds just like a missile. Usually when I hear sounds coming from outside I pray “Please be the disaster that takes my life”…But for once today, I didn’t want to die. I said “Nah I don’t wanna die, I just wanna sleep! If it takes my life then so be it but I’d much prefer it not to!”

This is a big step for me. I haven’t been suicidal for a long time but I have wanted to die…there’s a difference. Now I want to live.


This is great to read! I’m very happy for you, such a big step