I finally went after a month of planning. It went OK I guess, I had mixed feelings about it. I talked a little. I mentioned my main problem which is stress from moving and some girl wanted to know about my move. How I did it, what did it involve. I answered the best I could. It lasted about an hour and a half.
I left ten minutes early but on my way out my paranoia ramped up. There was a girl there who I couldn’t tell if she was involved with running the group or was just one of us. But I stood up and excused myself and left, and on my way out this girl caught up with me at the elevator. I forget what she said but it was nothing bad, I think she said good-bye and asked me how I liked the group.
But my paranoid thinking told me that nobody liked me there, and that this girl felt bad for me because no one liked me there and she felt sorry or pity for me and she didn’t want me to feel bad because no one said good-bye to me. My rational half tells me they didn’t know me well enough to not like me and maybe no one said good-bye because I didn’t say good-bye to them!
Anyway, either way, I’m going back next Sunday.
First days are the worst anywhere. Just give it a good ol college try and you’ll feel like a part of the furniture in no time. Most likely becoming a valued member to many there with all your life experience.
The NAMI group near my town only meets like once a month, which I find to be really disappointing. I wish there was something you could do on a weekly basis. If there was I couldn’t find it.
I could never get up in front of others and talk about myself. Here, it is really anonymous. It’s like we can say something then just leave and no ones going to say anything. So, what’s this girl look like anyway… no, just kidding.
Yeah, going to this group didn’t solve all my problems in one day, but I felt I accomplished something by going and I feel I did something for my recovery. One way it helps is it puts me around people instead of me sitting in my room stewing in my own mind about all my problems. I’m not even sure if therapy works but until someone invents something different that’s free and helps me, I will keep going