Schizophrenia.com

Suicide: Kill the thought, don't kill the body

Several years ago I was continously plagued with suicidal thoughts—thoughts of suicide and then one awesome thought got generated inside my head…

Kill the thought, don’t kill the body.

And, all my suicide thoughts completely ceased to exist.

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No one has to deal with them alone though. Crisis phone lines are available 24/7 so is the ER. A lot of pain left from the act so please, don’t be afraid to ask for help from them.

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What got me through my dark times was procrastination.
I kept telling myself not to act on how I feel right this minute, but to wait 2 hours and see how I feel then.
The condition was I had to get out of the physical environment I was in, and find something to distract myself and get a new perspective.

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I remember there were some nights that something as silly as a cake got me through.

I don’t know how this got into my head, but I was asked if I did leave this life, what food would I miss the most. I had said I’d miss this certain cake.

Something said… well, since you’re leaving this life… why not enjoy this cake just one last time.

By the time I found the cake, got the cake, got home to eat the cake… I was too tired to care out my exit.

I had cake left over so that was the second night.

Then I ended up buying another cake…

It didn’t cure me of my depression or suicidal thoughts… but it got me through quite few nights. That’s all I needed at the time.

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This is what I always thought about Sylvia Plath too, she didn’t really need to die, she could just write it all out in her poetry, she could die in the thought, not in the body. My friend said, “No, she was mentally ill,” yes of course, That!

But I love that arts acts out our frustrations for us, so really, we don’t have to go through it on our own.