Suicidal ideation (Trigger warning)

[everhopeful]

I feed stray cats. One of them was killed by a car on the road.

I had very strong suicidal ideation as a result. I’m ok now though. This is why I can’t have a pet, as I get suicidal ideation when they eventually die.

I remember hearing that Chester Bennington (of the band Linkin Park) commited suicide after the death of a friend.

It freaks me out that I too can’t handle loss. It’s a pretty precarious situation.

It was very sinister suicidal ideation. I was calm, clear headed, not psychotic in the least. I just became convinced that I had led an “awful life”.

Like I said, I’m ok now. Just slightly shaken.

[Schztuna]

Really sorry about the death of your stray cat buddy @everhopeful.

Death is a very impactful event, and dying can make us confront our own mortality in different ways as a result.

Especially if the death is untimely.

There was this kid who was the friend of a friend who committed suicide. I never even met him, but his act impacted me severely. I had suicidal ideation for years as a result, and one of the major themes in my illness is death by my own hand.

Please know that we all care about you on this forum, @everhopeful. Wishing you comfort during this time, and glad to hear you’re doing better now.

[Leaf]

I’m glad you are ok now. I’m sorry you lost one of your strays. It hurts when you lose someone you care for. Even if you put distance there to try and buffer yourself you still care. One of the sickest times of my life was after the loss of a friend to a car accident. Loss is powerful. Be extra gentle with yourself today.

[anon94176359]

So sorry to hear about your suffering. You are a good person. Loss of a pet friend is incredibly hard. Hope you feel better soon

[Ooorgle]

Sorry you lost a friend.

It’s amazing how attached we can get to the fuzz balls, so much joy having them but such a blow when we lose them.

Wishing you some better vibes dude. You’re a good guy.

[Ribbon]

I’m sorry to hear about your cat friend Ever.

@everhopeful

It was very sinister suicidal ideation. I was calm, clear headed

This is how my ideation is too. I rarely talk about it though, as it distresses others.

[anon68444330]

So sorry to hear that.i hope you can get over it soon @everhopeful

[lekkerhondje]

sorry about your kitty cat friend =(

[SkinnyMe]

I took a treasured cat, that I owned for twelve years, tearlessly to the local animal shelter last year and dropped him off and never looked back. I wonder about my complete lack of emotion most of the time.

I had no tears at my son’s funeral nor at my mom’s death bed or funeral.

[Headspark]

I’ve lost a lot of dogs. I never had suicide ideation over it but I was very sad and had tears in my eyes, it’s hard to lose anyone/pet you love. Good to hear you are ok now.

It may be cliche but “Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened*

[CoCo]

Oh no! Poor baby! Let yourself grieve and be gentle with yourself.

[anon4362788]

I’m so sorry. Both for the cat friend and the ideation. Anytime you have those thoughts, please come here and ask for the numbers we have. Sometimes they can help.