Darn. Twas all going fine. Except that. Today I went to my gym and was using a machine when I noticed a small white device that I hadn’t seen before on the wall. I thought it was monitoring me but was afraid to do anything.
I eventually left but I figured that if I fought it, it would some how harm me. It terrified me and makes me afraid that it is waiting for me next time I go. However, I am still going to go.
Later on, I still get chills thinking about it but realize it was ridiculous. Is realizing it was not true after a form of recovery?
Has anyone gotten to the point where they can realize it is false in the moment?
Glad you are still going to go back, wish I could say that in the moment of those times, I know it is false, but that would be a false statement. The past few months I am like you where things have been terrifying, but I can’t shake the beliefs…tomorrow, I finally see the psychiatrist and hopefully get a prescription. Hang in there though, and don’t let it defeat you or stop you from doing what you enjoy!
Yes I think this is an indication of recovery. If you didn’t realise something like the white box monitoring you isn’t real, and you never went back to the gym, then you wouldn’t be able to say you are on the road to recovery. But you did, so you must be! Well done!
Will you go back to the gym?
I understand ive been getting similar ■■■■…i
Not saying you should but ive been combating it with valums…or a half a loratab…all prescribed but i cant fight it without…i hope you can…
Thank you! I will go back. I might have to bring a friend next time but will,certainly go back.
Then I think you have chosen the recovery fork in the road.
I get sudden paranoia attacks about various things but I have a difficult time recognising it is paranoia. My psychiatrist identifies that it’s paranoia but I don’t. (I’m travelling down the opposite fork in the road).
I recommend that next time you go that you take a good look at that new machine. Maybe even ask an employee how to use it? It may not take all your concern away, but maybe give you an answer when your mind tells you the machine is monitoring you. I think it’s awesome that you know you were being paranoid, and that it won’t stop you from going back!
Sometimes I don’t recognize it, but I think we can train our minds to see it as false.
Yeah, I’ll be driving along and something will surprise me and then I start worrying about the car breaking down which is ludicrous because my car is in excellent condition. So, yeah, I’m aware it’s all in my head, even know the worry comes from being in a car accident years ago. But it’s hard to get my heart to stop beating fast. I take deep breaths and try to smile at myself.