I’m watching a show called "Intervention ". It’s real-life documentary style focusing on one drug addict per episode. It tells their story, shows their lifestyle and ends with family and friends doing an intervention. The person usually chooses to go to rehab.
I can’t help but think how much more explainable a drug addiction is than my mental problems. Why didn’t I have fun in high school like other kids? Why couldn’t I focus on classes at junior college? Why did I drop out? Why did I give up after just over a semester at art college. I was getting good grades, I loved it there, but I was trying to kill myself and spiraling out… Why did I marry someone who hated and abused me? How come I couldn’t raise my son on my own but needed my parents support?
I’m not a drug addict. What mysterious disfunction guides my life/choices/failures…? And no one asks.
hope higher power will listen ur agony and treat u fair enough to live a better life now on…!!!
We were and are the mentally challenged.
Thank you, @far_cry0. God does bless me and my life is better now than I would have ever imagined, especially considering my self-destruction all those years.
It’s the lack of concern from my family and friends that really gets me. No one’s even a little curious about my “missing years”, so to speak. All those years of struggle. What must they think of me???
But I’m neither lazy nor stupid. I was actually really smart when I was young. No one wonders about my decline? Why did I give up gallery work to take a low paying job for the school district? ( I love my job because I love my students, but the truth is that it’s a lowly position)
I just don’t understand the lack of curiosity if nothing else.
When I was off teenager, I couldn’t explain what was going on in my head, and said to myself “I wish I was an alcoholic so I could at least explain what was wrong with me”. And hey presto, I eventually turned into one. So be careful what you wish for! 
that’s the key…try to keep urself happy whatever u do…do what u love is just a simple formula…!!!
I like u guys cuz ur so matured with time i love ur advice and suggestion every-time…!!!
Now u need to climb up how difficult the path iz…u have tolerated a lot in ur past now its time to plan for the future …i see ur future is bright…u have a son right how iz he…!!!
Oh, I don’t wish for that, @everhopeful. I purposely don’t drink because alcoholism runs in my family. I’m just saying that it’s harder to divulge and explain my brain disorder. There’s a clear problem and a clear path to recovery for alcoholism. There’s something concrete there to solve. And everyone can see it and recognize it. But all this mess with “hedgehog”, what’s wrong with her? Why is she like that? What a mess she is! But there’s nothing said.
So sweet, @far_cry0. Thank you for the encouragement! My son is amazing. He’s living on his own (renting a room in a house with six other roommates) and working two jobs. He plans to return to school next Fall. He manages his sleep/stress/food etc really well. I am so proud of him!