Struggling with symptoms

After I tried taking Geodon and Olanzapine at the same time and then went back to just Olanzapine the medicine hasn’t been working as well. I went from 15mg to 30mg and still have symptoms. The following symptoms are not related to hallucinations:

I constantly think people are angry at me. When I walk outside and hear my neighbors talk I think they’re commenting on me. I was in a drive-through last night and the lady behind me was yelling. Drunk from 4th of July festivities, she was upset about my posture or where my eyes were looking. My brain focuses on people in my peripheral vision. It’s exhausting to always worry about other people and needing to look away so they’re not in my peripheral vision. When they’re close to my center vision my brain pics them out so I look to the side. The neighbors closest to my window say angry things or bang on the walls every few days because I am thinking about them. I guess sometimes I mistake others behavior for being directed at me but some of it seems to be actually about me.

Finally, I can’t relax when I’m in my room. It should be a sanctuary. However, I have this ocd about thinking about my neighbors. I can’t focus on myself and I’m constantly self-regulating my thoughts so I don’t think about the neighbors.
I am considering turning down a vacation because of the high amount of anxiety I’ve had lately. I don’t know how to proceed.

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Oh yeah, forgot to mention that I constantly think people on this forum despise me.

They dont. Frankly. We have our problems to deal with so much so we dont think badly of people for the most part has been my experience.

Take it easy, the meds can take a bit longer sometimes. Stress reduction techniques like cbt and breathing/meditation may help? Exercise too?

Hope it gets better for you

Edit: have you tried listening to music?

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Hey, thanks for the response man. A couple weeks ago I used CBT and little bit of meditation to deal with worrying thoughts. It did help!

I appreciate it. Yes, music is a good distraction I think.

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No worries, yeah, i use music all the time. That only has one issue, it can affect mood and cause slight mania with all the ups and downs.

Otherwise it does reduce physical stress for the most part and repetitive depressed thoughts. Its helpful for thinking positively and creatively imo.

As for CBT, definitely continue watching the cycles your thought patterns possess. It’ll eventually be something you can control - this is something i myself need to work on.

Im on autopilot most of the time with my rhoughts and dont like listening to what i have to think. But if i exercised more CBT. I’d reckon, I’d fare much better which would help massively with my studies atm.

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Oh, I agree music is good for depression or depressive thoughts. I agree that I can make you a bit manic but it’s at least a good distraction. Thank you, I will keep trying to use CBT. It has worked so far. Sometimes just writing down the worry thoughts has helped me.
I wish you the best with your studies.

@shutterbug is a proponent of CBT. I know he was off meds for awhile because of how well it worked on his positive symptoms.

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Has anyone switched meds then come back to the old one only for it to stop working?
I am trying to figure out if the old med will still work at higher doses or if I need to switch. My pdoc has no idea what to do.

Just a heads up, music mania stops CBT from being as effective from my own experience at least.

Because youre always emotional, you end up being less conscientious

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