It’s just that, I know I’m not supposed to compare myself to others, but it’s ridiculous. Everyone else just seems to breeze along. They do what they need to. They participate in like a million clubs, they make things, they contribute to society, they make connections they whatever. And I’m drowning just trying to keep up with my most basic necessary tasks. And it’s really, really frustrating, as someone who grew up as an overachiever.
My job in the lab doesn’t pay anything, I’m broke as heck and entirely dependent on my parents, I have 0 free time for myself, and if I make free time it hurts my studies. I don’t have a boyfriend and don’t see how I could get one at this point. I have about 1000 things to do that I’ve been pushing back because everything’s been nightmarish for me lately. I’m confused and barely following what we’re learning in my classes. And then throw anxiety, psychosis and depression in the mix. I just feel like I’m a big loser right now.