Schizophrenia.com

Struggling with self-hatred


#1

I didn’t become aware of this until recently, but I’ve come to loathe myself. It has been building up for quite some time now. All I feel is guilt, shame, disgust. I’m sinking into depression. Every little mistake I make seems to stand out in my mind front and center and the good stuff gets buried.

What do I do?? How to get rid of this pain?? Every morning I wake up and it hits me like a steam train.


#2

See a doctor. I can refer you to Dr. Dre, but he just tells everyone to smoke weed every day.


#3

smoke a blunt bro


#4

Lmfao yes it will make you feel something, varies from person to person with the illness. For some it alleiviates symptoms for others it exacerbates symptoms.

Weed chronically exacerbates my symptoms. Get it, chronically? Play on words


#5

I’m actually highly amused that both the posts on here had to do with weed…I had flashbacks to snoopdog…wahaha

Nah but I don’t do drugs. Still gave me a slight chuckle though, so thanks for that I guess.


#6

Why do you feel that way?

Changing attitudes requires conscious effort. Awareness is probably a good place to start.

There are no easy solutions to complex life problems.

You could try a few of these, but they are superficial and temporary at best: exercise, goal-seeking, pills, drugs.


#7

Been going to the gym everyday. It does feel a bit good to run off the anger. I’ve also been trying to constantly remind myself of why I’ve set myself on this difficult path in life (neuroscience major).

It’s a whole load of things causing it. Not feeling accomplished enough or good enough. Feeling weak. Disgusted by moral character, etc.


#8

My psychologist told me that my desire for self-improvement was so ingrained that I would never get rid of it. We have to remind ourselves again and again not to be too hard on ourselves when we’re like that.


#9

write down a list of all the things that you are good at, big and small no matter how insignificant ;

  1. neuroscience major…etc
  2. writing…
  3. kind person…
  4. helpful…etc
    you are an extremely bright :sunny: person , and with sz, so you are bound to over think things.
    take care from the totally sane none to ’ brainy ’ :alien: and his side kick jedi :rabbit: bunny.

#10

It’s just that, I know I’m not supposed to compare myself to others, but it’s ridiculous. Everyone else just seems to breeze along. They do what they need to. They participate in like a million clubs, they make things, they contribute to society, they make connections they whatever. And I’m drowning just trying to keep up with my most basic necessary tasks. And it’s really, really frustrating, as someone who grew up as an overachiever.

My job in the lab doesn’t pay anything, I’m broke as heck and entirely dependent on my parents, I have 0 free time for myself, and if I make free time it hurts my studies. I don’t have a boyfriend and don’t see how I could get one at this point. I have about 1000 things to do that I’ve been pushing back because everything’s been nightmarish for me lately. I’m confused and barely following what we’re learning in my classes. And then throw anxiety, psychosis and depression in the mix. I just feel like I’m a big loser right now.


#11

Thanks…I might try doing that actually!

It all started when I thought my ego was too big, so I tried thinking of all the bad things about me to bring it down…but I never meant for it to tank…time to take it in the opposite direction I suppose.


#12

You need to break the perfectionist attitude. Just take a step back and just smile or laugh knowing that we are human and humans screw up . I screw up all the time but my attitude is pretty laid back about it

Just ease the pressure on yourself and learn to go with the flow


#13

is this a community of schzophrenics? or a cult of jesus obsessed morons? i mean give me a break you flag my post as inappropriate for using a word that a 12 year old could tolerate…


#14

I have some pretty strong self hatred myself. Sometimes I can only look at myself and cringe. I try not to let it affect me, but it’s hard not to.


#15

I read a post on here yesterday that I could relate to so much that it quickly made me realize that I was starting to relapse and needed to take action. I think that it is a very common consequence to feel disgusted and hate ourselves. When we are delusional we are “heroes” then we come to reality and it’s a lot to handle. You never know how much what you post on here can affect others going through this in a positive way. I do know or at least have an idea of what you are experiencing right now. I attribute mine to coming out of a delusional state.


#16

I also struggle with self-hatred sometimes, and what helps me is to distract myself, to divert my attention off of myself and onto something or somebody else. Take some time out to relax, but keep your mind stimulated, don’t let it just float, because then your thoughts will just come back to the negative things about yourself. Maybe helping someone else will increase your self-worth? Good luck!


#17

berating yourself about the past or current situation you are dealing with in life has to stop before you can “feel good about yourself”. The past is full of disappointment and mistakes. I just focus on the present moment and do the best I can to be the best person I can be, even when alone. I hope you start feeling better @Anna


#18

Hey, everyone.

Thank you so much for the support, you don’t know how much it means to me, since I don’t really have anyone I can talk to about this stuff, except my therapist who I can’t see for another 2 weeks or so.

Last night I tried listing off all the positive things about myself. And I noticed that for every positive I had like a million negatives attached to it, or I would try to discount it automatically, so I’m trying to change that. It was very helpful to me. Some cathartic tears were shed and I have felt much better today, despite the awful weather. I feel like it’s going to take me a long time to get back to feeling about myself the way I used to, but I will do my best to work on it.