Struggling with abstinence

So I tried to limit my porn to once a week but watched it Saturday and Sunday. I drank some vodka last night. ■■■■ isn’t easy. Hopefully feeling terrible when I woke up…I went 43 days…but hopefully next time I can go twice as long. I’m not worried :weary: it was an impulsive thing and with the meds I won’t relapse info alcoholISM but it wasn’t fun to me and I’m not happy I did it but I’m not worried, not gonna go to AA. IF I drink once every 43 days I’m doing fine I think! I didn’t get all that drunk. The hangover already gone but woke up with it. Porn is tougher for me ! I do it once a week and it is greatly enjoyable at that point. But I woke up Monday morning feeling real shitty about watching it two nights in a row. Hate addiction! I know it doesn’t sound all that bad but to “relapse” consecutive nights really shows my pleasure zones are desperate for attention st this point. Also smoking marijuana some days. I think it’s not as bad for me but when I stop smoking my brain is yelling "GIVE ME MORE PLEASURE ". I can’t smoke daily and it’s medicinal for me but…it’s just a tough predicament. My life isn’t unmanageable at all but these vices keep calling!!! And it makes me feel I don’t have control. Thank you for all your support!

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I’m sorry honey. I know it’s so hard and so disappointing to be addicted. I hate it and just want to be free. I wonder if you’re feeling the same way at this point. Wouldn’t it be nice if you didn’t have to worry about it in 86 days?

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I’m doing the same thing for alcoholism and porn and other addictions I think.

But I can’t smoke every day. Who can?? Well I know people who do but can they, really? Maybe. Maybe not.

can you just puff pass instead of puff puff puff?

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you know what else, I think you do deserve a lot of credit, I really do. You try everyday right? That’s awesome I think

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lol I can try but usually toward the end if the night I end up puff puff puff puff puff puff. Because a tolerance is built up. But that’s a good idea. My friend smokes daily and maybe I should only do it with him so I’m not buying it and have more control ?

Just think of it as a medicine and it should be easier, you wouldn’t be popping Zoloft all day would you? Is that bitchy? Why do I feel like I’m being bitchy?

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You’re not being bitchy!

My husband has me paranoid now. I think he’s over-sensitive or something

Anyway, how old are you?

I’m twenty seven. Tell @andrey I look younger but act older :wink:

At 27 you should have a strong libido, so what’s the main issue with the porn anyway? Just too often? Or guilt?

Jon is indeed twenty seven. He is an old soul but looks oh so young.

Dixit. So I have said. :innocent:

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Before I stopped I didn’t feel guilty. Just felt it was unhealthy. Now I feel guilty and feel it is unhealthy as well.

ok, but I would think that for a single 27 yr old that would be within normal range. So why unhealthy? why guilty? You aren’t hurting anyone. Or wait do you believe you’re hurting someone?

I used to do it 2-3 times a day. Trust me I feel a lot healthier now because of it

holy crap! okay I see now

Unless your watching the really messed up stuff I don’t see the damage porn would do.
I used to feel guilty about that. (Watching it at all)

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