I was diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic in 2005 because of a bad experience with marijuana. I have been on pysch meds since for depression, psychosis, and anxiety. I feel like wherever I go people are talking about me, commenting on my every move, and feeding off me. I feel like when I watch TV they are talking to me and even some songs on the radio make references to me. I feel like people can read my mind and that I will never get better. I made a really poor decision when I was kicked out of my parents house to stop my medications. Seroquel was one medication I was on and it probably took around a month due to the 48 hour half life to finally come out of my system and I felt completely blank and out of ideas(sry for the run on). My functioning is very poor including my memory, interactions and responses. I am clinging on to a minimum wage job. I feel even at work as if everyone is trying to crack my focus and bring me down. I also attend out patient services which aren’t doing much. My emotions are way off, as my face has no expression. Because I have a history of not wanting to take meds, they are practically taking my word on what medications to go on. I feel extremely hopeless and am getting worse each day. My anxiety is terrible and they won’t prescribe benzos at this particular outpatient. I hate being mentally ill and am tired of the person I have become and the responses I get from people in the city I live in. Sorry for the ridiculous number of “I-statements”. Any responses are appreciated.
hi welcome, going to your doctor could be an option. u quit seroquel and thats not easy hang in there.
Welcome this site~~
Are you seeing a doctor?
My son was very noncompliant with his meds, so he started taking injections ( prolixin ). He also abused drugs, so he is never able to get anything for his anxiety. Can`t say what would work for you. My guess is that your seeing a nurse practioner? Can they refer you to a doctor?
thought i would say hi.
firstly don’t be so hard on yourself.
be proud instead that you are working and looking after yourself.
no one is talking or thinking about you…it is rubbish…i went through the same stuff.
the tv and radio thing is rubbish too…did that aswell.
stand up tall and be proud of who you are…you are battling sz which is not easy.
know someone cares.
take care
Hang in there. It can get better as I had the same delusions, but they have subsided greatly. I thought they were demons or mind reading conspiriacies. I even miss some of my delusions as some were pretty cool. I hope things get better for you.
it is nice to meet you…i hope you find comfort here…keep taking your meds and let your doctors know how you are feeling…best wishes
Do they have pact or actt teams where you’re at?
It is excellent that you can still focus on work. See ur doc immediately before it affects other aspects of your life. I say work out and try to cut the thinking process by music. And be certain there arent ppl tryING to harm you or conspire. TV and radio is rubbish and the 9 lying thing that matters is your health so keep it on prior. Meds are good they can almost always treat positive symptoms you are having.
You say
Because I have a history of not wanting to take meds, they are practically taking my word on what medications to go on. I feel extremely hopeless and am getting worse each day. My anxiety is terrible and they won’t prescribe benzos at this particular outpatient. I hate being mentally ill and am tired of the person I have become and the responses I get from people in the city I live in.
Do you mean that you regret coming off the meds now but you are embarrassed to tell your doctor? I think you can always discuss your feelings about medication without making any commitment. You may be able to find something that suits you much better.
Thanks for the responses.
Haven’t seen the doc in a while but yes I am seeing a nurse practitioner. The doctor is from overseas and he is very professional and smart. Once I’m done with outpatient services they will refer me to somewhere else.
Kimi I don’t know what pact or actt teams are.
I agree with everyone that the TV and radio are rubbish. Just wish it was easier to block things out. Since life off drugs and since the functioning Posterity had a life, it is harder to get through the days of avoiding being depressed by staying afloat.
Compared to a couple days ago I see a bit of improvement which is always promising.
I’d like to add is that I have trouble keeping my thoughts to myself. If anyone has ever read the Shack I feel like that great ball of light that was a person who is dealing with this same type of thing. I can only believe that this will eventually go away. I want to be normal so terribly. I even feel like little kids are more intellectually competent than myself at this point.
Hatty and I guess I wasn’t clear. I came off meds but have been back on for ~one month. It is hard to go against what seems so clearly right in my mind and do the opposite. Abstaining from drugs has made things easier though.
This link explains what ACT or PACT Teams are: