Strong feelings for the first time

[anon49185775]

I have strong feelings for this guy I am dating. Like I feel a bit like I am on drugs but no, I am on the usual assorted sedatives, LOL

He is not only my type physically, like exactly my type, but I really do have feelings for who he is. My friends all said I am experiencing love. Since we talked and he requited what I said I thought and felt about him and we both really enjoyed getting intimate, this is different from the other people I have met. They friendzoned me but wanted to have sex, this guy actually enjoys talking to me for two hours every night and hasnt told me he wants to just be friends with benefits.

But yeah all of my friends, (I told the ones who have had serious relationships or are still in them) told me that it is love.

I used to denounce love. I think I have become a better person and I feel something I cant really describe other than I feel like I am high on something.

This is very new to me. This is way beyond a crush and way beyond simple sexual desire. He said he was a virgin and I actually believe him. I know that everyone remembers the first person they have sex with, I had my fist kiss and lost my virginity less than a year ago.

Its a feeling that I can’t really describe- it’s simply a completely new and very strong feeling. I feel happy to have survived this shitty illness to feel this way. It’s making life look better.

One of my friends stopped by yesterday and he said “You can’t know happiness unless you’ve felt pain.” and just left it at that and then went to small talk about school. I am not sure what he meant by that- he saw me while I was psychotic and he knows I have been through hell- he and the rest of my friends admit that they thought I was permanently messed up while I was at my worst. Right after I entered recovery, he had a terrible nightmare of a break up and I took care of him for a few days, the roles had reversed. He was a mess and I was the stable one last fall when his girlfriend cheated on him.

And I have friends who are in/have been in serous relationships (said friend who stopped by yesterday included) and they said this is called love. All of them said that.

Im sure a fair number of you have experienced the same feelings- what are your thoughts on it? Some of you are married, have been married before, I know that much.

But I am enjoying this- I feel like I deserve it and have said that I felt like I deserved to experience this. Well now it’s happening.

[SurprisedJ]

I remember when you used to denounce love and say it’s delusional and illogical.

It’s a journey… and as many know… it hits you when your not looking. First you had to get the point of self acceptance of not being straight. When you can accept yourself… then you have room for others… I guess your at that point.

You know my mantra… looking for sex… find chaos… looking for friendship… sometimes can find love…

It feels amazing and a bit scary… needing someone… your heart and head wants and needs someone now… But I love the feeling of love.

Energizing and a bit like taking off the training wheels in life…

Glad you found a piece of that happiness… hope it grows into contentment and quiet joy.

I know you love your chart numbers and you quote studies a lot… but please don’t over analyze this one… ride the wave my friend… just ride the wave…

[wrongemboyo]

I could go on and on here about love…but I’m not going to. All I’ll say is that such strong feelings about another person for me anyway have not come cheap or plentifully in my life. I’ve had these strong feelings for two people in my life and it was when I was young. Everyone else has come and gone without that moment when you realize this is someone you can talk to about anything for hours on end. My experience with it has been that there really is sort of a “honeymoon” phase to love that for me anyway in once case lasted a year plus. But when that is over the real challenge begins of coming down off the high on each other and working out what challenges arise from this. This has been for me the true testing grounds of a relationship. Once you’ve talked all there is to talk about and once you’ve both come down off that cloud can you maintain the relationship…if you find you can then this I say is probably something that might last.

Here I said I wasn’t going to go on and on about love and I feel like I did just that

[metime]

Enjoy it, bro!
(I don’t know why I put “bro,” but just roll with it.)

You will start to want better for yourself while you are in love. It is a good time to get your priorities straight, to find your inner compass. You’ll lose some of that inner tension, a vibration that makes you feel uncertain about things. You’ll be at peace.

One time I went and checked out as many classical books on love and philosophy that I could fit in my backpack when I was in love. Other times, we went to the grave yard near my boyfriend’s house.

It will feel nice to have someone to “come home to.”

[wrongemboyo]

This reminded me of back when I was in love ages ago we had little special places we’d go like at the stage in the public park when they were putting on a production of Charlie Brown something or other we’d go and sit on top of this big Snoopy’s doghouse and talk for hours. Or at night we’d climb the steps up to the roof of an abandoned coast guard station and lay there listening to the waves crash on the shore…there were others too but it was so damn long ago and the list of them all might be on the long side…and really who cares?