Strange Things That Would Make Me Happy

  1. I’d be happy if I was diagnosed with a brain tumor because I wouldn’t have to take the frigging meds any more.
  2. I’m happy when it rains in the Summer because it’s too hot when it doesn’t.
  3. I’d also probably be happy if I was diagnosed with a urinary tract infection because curing it sometimes proves you are not insane as well.
  4. I’d be happy if the worst sports team in history won it all. Then I’d never watch that sport again.
  5. I’d be happy if the politicians only talked about policy rather than name calling or shock talk. It wouldn’t be boring to me.
  6. I’d be happy if it snowed at 1 am and I woke up in time to see it and then it melted by 8 am.
  7. I’d be happy if ice knocked out the power at 5 am and then it rose 40 degrees F in an hour’s time and stayed that way until the power was restored.
  8. I’d be happy to see a funnel cloud that never touched down.
  9. I’d be happy to wake up in the morning feeling strong and stay that way until evening. Never happens for me.
  10. I’d be happy if a major battle between nations caused 50 downed unmanned drones and no other casualties.
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