Stockholm Syndrome

Has anybody of you experienced something like stockholm syndrome?
I wasn’t captured or anything but during the first time I got diagnosed, during my psychosis, I felt sympathy and positive feelings to some people in my life who really hurt me. I don’t know if it was part of psychosis or something like the stockholm syndrome. But it took me a while to get back to reality and realize these people’s intentions.

I did with an exboyfriend, while psychotic. Nearly drove myself to suicide

Oh, God.
My story.
But it doesn’t have to be a Stockholm syndrome. It can be just an extreme version of classic co-dependence.

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This is really tough, especially with parents.

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It actually starts from parents. And because of parents.

I think if you’re in a vulnerable position, then there will be an element of the Stockholm syndrome, and your judgement will suffer a bit.

exactly right! my judgement suffered a great deal.

It is not like you want to be abused.
It is more like, you feel like you somehow deserve it, or you are scared that the person will leave you.

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Yes, it’s happening because you deserve it because it’s happening because you deserve it because…

It is too complicated… from psychological side…
Apparently there is something called A Karpman drama triangle. It claims that there are three main roles that we take in all relationships. Victim, Persecutor and Rescuer. Really makes sense.

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It happened to me when I was married to a Borderline Sociopath - I felt sorry for her, even though she was cheating, lying, and stealing from me.

She was was abusive and I still “loved” her - Man was I gone mentally.

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Once I fell in love with a sociopath, I also had a relapse at that time so I’m really glad nothing happened between us. But yeah, wish I was a little religious and believed in hell, I would think these people would get what they deserve.

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Borderlines are tough to deal with.
Of course, it wasn’t her guilt.

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Jerusalem syndrome is a group of mental phenomena involving the presence of either religiously themed obsessive ideas, delusions or other psychosis-like experiences that are triggered by a visit to the city of Jerusalem.

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I have had that yes.

Thinking back… I don’t think it was a Stockholm syndrome as much as it was a co-dependency. I had a very toxic girlfriend for a long time… derailed my attempts to get clean and sober many many times… (I derailed her attempts too)


I was basically forced into dogmatic brainwash religious schools from 4 to 16. I started to adopt the militant, disciplined attitude yet applied it to sports and my own personal goal of becoming an elite soldier. I still keep in regulation except for my sideburns being just a tad long and out of regulation- so that ROTC guys can tell I’m not one of them.

I sure as hell began to adopt the mentality of the teachers and coaches. I was there against my will, I might add- my parents finally transferred me to an international school and I was extremely healthy for a while. I was incredibly self/disciplined. I was a martial artist and also had a 3.9 at an all honors school when I became ill. Next thing I knew I was abusing substances and acting paranoid as hell.

That sounds more like a dominant than submissive type.
There is a strong link to sadomasochism in all codependent relations, don’t you think?

Hmmm well I am a masochist- go ask my docs…not a sadist. I don’t hurt people for fun, I was seeing a young woman who wanted me to be very rough with her, like bite her among other things, I refused.

I have no problem with hurting myself, however I do so constructively like in excessive exercise, which is something I am working on, I quit lifting weights but that’s a whole different story about my new workout routines which are military physical fitness test type workouts…and healthy instead of hernia producing.

I have fought before, but that was business, I needed the experience. I did enjoy physically beating others, but that is some appetitive aggression nasty ■■■■ that I don’t really talk about save for one of my close friends, who has it too. I actually researched appetitive aggression thoroughly and wrote up summaries of the research literature, I was curious about myself and oh well now I have seven pages of single spaced notes about appetitive aggression.

What does that even mean? It means I enjoy fighting. I mean come on, I was a fighter in high school, a pretty good one. It’s actually a protective agent against PTSD (appetitive aggression is). No wonder I am not as traumatized as I should be. I should have full blown PTSD but don’t.

Sadism is not cool with me- not unless that person only exercises that crap on terrorists. When I hear about BDSM and that crap I just behave neutrally and express mild concern. Truth is I find it repulsive. My profile almost literally says “psycho killer” well at least that’s what a shrink I saw who had a copy of my results who used to work in Army intelligence said…dismantle the psychosis and it matches guys in delta, that’s literally what he said. He called my behavior “controlled mayhem”.

Now when I keep that crap under control and then hear about guys being abusive and calling it bonding I feel like knocking their ■■■■ in. Just no. Not okay. Seek professional help, now. Unacceptable and inexcusable.

End rant/ that’s what I actually think about sadism. Masochists are heroes. They could take their anger and hate out on others but instead they only hurt themselves. I could get on a long rant regurgitating what the guy who evaluated me said about masochism, but I’ll leave it at that.

Masochists are good people, sadists are not unless they go hunt bad guys…or behave normally, which probably requires some counseling.

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I despise my oppressors and their snideness. Yet, I can’t help but be mystified and impressed.