If I weren’t alone and with one other would the situation improve? They could stare at the despair in my eyes. What then? Would a romance ignite? Or would I be ugly and fight? But I desist and the Self stomps me out of existence again. I’m getting tired of dying. My life is less enjoyable dead. What can I do? I need others to exist. Why is he mad at me, I have no romance in me left? Something good in me is gone. It happens, let it be.
I sincerely hope that you can find your self worth in you being your authentic self. We are all imperfectly perfect. I wish nothing but the best for you and just know that it’s ok to feel the way you do….there’s always the next moment and maybe then you’ll realize just how amazing you are! Peace