Staying Healthy & Drug-Free


I haven’t had much alcohol in a few months. I decided to stop after I realized that alcohol was depressing me, so I cut it out completely. I had a couple strong beers, and that was too much as it was. I’ve pretty much decided even one beer isn’t worth it. I also started a new medication which increases the effects and enjoyment of alcohol, so I will avoid it. I also have decided to try and quit smoking cigarettes over time, but to cut out all highs. I have been smoking this legal herb. I bought it from a store. But, I’ve done a little research and realized that you can have a heart attack from this stuff. I actually had a panic attack from it on several occasions. So I thought it was one type that was worse than the other, and then I just had my first panic attack from smoking too much of the kind I thought was safe. Also, it almost ruined Christmas.

I told my brother and dad who had a huge talk with me. Then I smoked it again thinking it was helping make me feel better. At this point, I’m so mad at myself. But it’s not just that, I know the reason everyone was mad is because they love me and they don’t want me to get sick from this stuff. They reacted so strongly, like 4 people. I’m struggling a bit with being around 2 people who wanted to smoke it. I’ve already stopped hanging out with one and now I just told my boyfriend that if he’s going to continue to smoke anything to get high, I won’t supply transportation and I won’t be around when he does it.

I don’t want to be around for it. I also know his mother has been very forgiving when she’s made it clear that she doesn’t want her son smoking this spice stuff or really anything else for that matter. She said it makes him psychotic. He also flipped out at me afterwards.

I kept trying not to and he kept pushing, then at one point I almost felt addicted to it. It’s supposed to be just flowers etc, but I think there’s research chemicals in it.

I’m determined not to mess up again. I won’t talk to him for awhile for this reason.


It is very hard to have to avoid family and friends due to their drinking and drugs. It hard to resist the temptation and it’s hard to think that they don’t support your decision to get healthy. It feels like a no win and takes double the amount of effort. But not having my head circus act up and being able to remember exactly what I did yesterday, and wake up with peace and clarity is more worth it.

I’m proud of you for being able to tell your boyfriend that you still love him, but your just not going to be enabling this behavior. That took a lot of strength. Good for you.
Especially since you posted earlier that you have a feeling you might be pregnant… if that does end up to be the case, your saving two lives.

It is heart breaking having to have this fight with someone you love and someone you want to connect with. But I hope your family can see that your trying and will give you that extra support you need. I’m glad you know they love you.


I was smoking lots of pot when I started having gradually increasing schizophrenic symptoms back when I was 18. I learned to not smoke ANYTHING other than cigarettes after a few nightmarish episodes induced by weed/spice. I even felt peer pressure and smoked weed this past july, and it was a complete disaster. I was so psychotic that I couldnt sleep, I just hallucinated and had tangential thoughts for hours in the dark. The next day, i was pissed off and went to the gym, and tried to squat over twice my weight (after not sleeping the night before) and I tore a lower abdomen and couldnt exercise at all for over a month. I had to see a surgeon to make sure i didnt have a hernia.

■■■■ weed/spice. It chemically resembles psychosis, I am a psych major and took a class on drugs.


Are you serious? I had a panic attack for like an hour. I couldn’t connect with my body and I lost complete touch with the world around me. It was like blacking out, but I could see and I didn’t believe what I saw was real. It is hard to explain. It was worse than the worst psychotic symptoms of schizophrenia I’ve experienced. Yeah ■■■■ spice/weed. It’s dangerous and destabilizing.

I plan on never touching either after these panic attack. I basically was reliving all my psychotic experiences in one hour. I could remember them, I kept thinking fearful thoughts too like OCD thoughts. Like, what if someone just shoots me, those kind of disturbing thoughts. My boyfriend’s mom tried to give me Calcium and I was too paranoid to take it. She had me sit on the couch and I drank water. I was soooooo embarassed!!!


yeah any dopamine agonist (makes more of it) will really send schizophrenic people over the edge into complete insanity. For normal people, dopamine makes them feel great, but too much can cause hallucinations. We have dopamine irregularities to where we hallucinate all the time.

For example, caffeine makes me feel better but too much of it makes me psychotic. I’m thoroughly medicated, keep in mind. I get sleepy from my meds, they do the job to say the least.


Really? I can smoke marijuana and not become psychotic. Unless its really potent then I will. However if I smoked the fake pot or spice it sends me over the edge into full blown psychosis. Did it once and I thought I had died and I needed to find my body and that I was a ghost stuck in a almost dead realm. Super scary. Took almost 2 full days for the psychosis to come down.