After so many years of fighting this on my own, I finally saw a psychiatrist this afternoon. It went very well, he’s a good doctor. He works efficiently and covers a lot of territory, we make a good team. It’s expensive and the costs are all out of pocket, but after reading this forum these past few weeks I know it’s the best decision. I’ve been against trying meds, afraid of them, but reading what you guys have posted here gave me enough confidence to at least try them.
I’ll be trying Olanzapine (for delusional disorder). I’ll titrate the dosage up in the next couple of weeks as my body gets used to it. I’ll monitor results and see if it’s a good choice or not. I’m hoping that starting tonight it sedates me enough to sleep so that I don’t wake up at 4am with racing thoughts and unable to sleep.
I’m certainly open to advice about the drug or treatment in general. I know I need to be careful about watching for weight gain, whether it slows my brain down too much, and other common unwanted side effects.
Thanks to everyone here. This forum has made all the difference.
Don’t give up if it doesn’t work right away! I’m sza bipolar and it’s taken me a few to get threw the sz part. This is probably my 4th anti psychotic. It gets better though. Geodon was wonderful until it just stopped working. Right now the saphris is doing well but my bipolar is just going nuts.
My dad tried to say that the meds were going to take something out of my life later on. A sort of ‘robbing Peter to pay Paul’ thing. My answer is if you don’t pay Paul you are going to meet St. Peter. Of course that’s coming from someone who used to get suicidal very easily.
I’m not going to take any more Olanazapine. I haven’t slept this late in many years. This drug causes too much tiredness. I might skip the idea of drug therapy altogether. I function pretty well without meds, I can continue and develop my approach using CBT.
The first eight weeks are the hardest. After that, your body starts to adjust to the drug and you feel less tired. If that doesn’t happen you can ask about a lower dose or different med. but you can’t tell how it affects you for eight weeks at least. When I started Geodon I slept all the time, but now I only sleep about nine or ten hours, which is a fair trade for how much it helps me.
I think you’re exceptionally brave, and I wish you all the best! Medications have always terrified me, and are not an option for me. I am satisfied to keep trying without, but it is exhausting and I know I’ll never achieve the level of peace and happiness that some people seem to achieve on meds. I also won’t have the side effects, so it’s a trade off. I hope you find the solution, relief happiness and recovery you’re bravely searching for!
