Stability = a lie?

When you go through periods of stability do you ever feel like your mental illness was a lie all along? Sometimes when I feel really good and calm I feel like everyone was lying to me about being sick.


Omg. Yes! Absolutely yes! I so often think, maybe it’s not even a real condition and just happens under duress and is a type of personality. A personality which reacts differently to normally to duress.

Honestly though, it’s a very real condition. And it is very damaging even when outside of the psychotic state — which for most of us, I don’t believe we actually are outside of once it has hit us.


Definitely! I get this every time I’m stable. Get tempted to come off meds each time. Sometimes I lower dose to try…and get psychosis all over again. Then next time I’m well I doubt I ever had sza and try coming off again. I never learn…I lose insight every time. Feel like I faked it and voices tell me I’m liar and hypocrite

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I’ve been through similar feelings about 30 years ago. I don’t ever doubt my illness now.


I go through it. Then I’m from Mars. Then it gets personal and I’m like hey, it’s personal now.

Yeah I have thought it wasn’t real numerous times. But after enough years I realized it was definitely real

It’s real.

I drove to another province in my country and threw a big rock at an outdoor drive-in movie theatre screen. I thought satellite cameras in the sky were filming me.

I felt I had become a world-wide spectacle in some sort of giant play…and it was my way of trying to end the show…to tell the world that i was fed up and just wanted my old, simple life back.

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No I don’t because I remember times when the voices returned and as far as I am concerned I am a few med doses missed from the Psych Ward or the ER. Meds are a temporary fix. The real me is forever severely sick. The drugs enable me to be less so.

I used to think like that when I was first diagnosed. Not really thinking the diagnoses was a lie, but more like it was just a temporary condition and that I was fine and didn’t need my meds any more…but every time I got a relapse. So over the years I learned to accept that I need meds. I focused more on getting to the lowest dose possible that I could be functional on which I think is the best strategy when you are dependent on ap’s. The next best thing anyways.


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