Spontaneous combustion

I’ve been worrying about this lately. I seriously think that I am in a high risk category for this. It runs in my family. I’m actually petrified. I had three uncles and one niece and a great-aunt who were in their houses watching TV and “poof”! They all went up in a puff of flames and all that was left was a little pile of ashes.

I take normal precautions but I’m still worried. Does anyone know of any support groups for this? Is going up in a ball of flames preventable?
I’d hate to have to be on even more meds for this, I take enough of them already.

Signed,

          Worried in California
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Dear Worried,

First off, the best thing you can do for yourself is to avoid dehydration. For men, 18 glasses of water a day are recommended for adequate hydration.

Try not to fall asleep while smoking, or in front of a fireplace. Wear shoes and clothing designed to minimize electric shocks, and consider having your home flooring replaced with a similar material.

Lastly, if you are a vampire, avoid direct exposure to the sunlight.

If you follow these suggestions, you should be safe from spontaneous immolation.

Best of luck,
Aunt Ruby

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I don’t think it’s genetic, it’s purely spiritual :sparkles:

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Dear Aunt Ruby: You changed my life, I will heed your advice. I am forever indebted to you.

Signed,
Thankful in California.

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yeh pretty strange how victims of ‘spontaneous combustion’ are often smokers

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Very good @Rhubot. Very funny. I had to read it 5 times before I appreciated how funny this is.

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Moved to the Lounge.
—Mod-beam

Do they serve coffee in the lounge?
I’ll take an espresso please.

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We only serve Nescafe with that weird powdered nondairy creamer.

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I’ll take 5 of them please. Easy on the ice and I like mine shaken, but not stirred.

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Coming right up. :coffee: :coffee: :coffee: :coffee: :tea:
Whoops, I accidentally gave you a green tea as the last cup. :grin:

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