I walked into a restaurant earlier today to ask if I could use their restroom. On my way there a woman looked at me and saw something about me, and she must have guessed I had problems and she looked at me condescendingly and laughed.
It irked me and when I passed her table on the way out, I looked at her and said, “You’re not good-looking enough to do that, honey.”
Now, unfortunately I couldn’t see her reaction but I learned that I can make cutting remarks in a pinch sometimes. It might come in handy in the future. So I didn’t see the effect it had on her but so what?
Whatever her reaction, so what? I did it. And that’s important.
Finally got a CT scan of my brain. Went through a mini-hell waiting in the waiting room with some people and having my constant headache / hallucinating / intrusive thoughts, but glad it’s over.
Might get a CT scan with contrast dye injected next time, since doctors usually ask for the two together. Can’t wait until the clot is removed, or aneurysm fixed.
Today I drove on the freeway by myself for the first time. It was quite a long trip back and forth too. Went to watch Star Wars the Last Jedi. Picking up meds. Was back and forth talking to at least 4 people on the phone who were friends plus coming to this website to cry my eyes out. I don’t trust myself with being alone right now, so I will have a busy night going out exercising, drinking lots of juice, maybe planning out how substitute teaching certificate fits into my schedule. Then tomorrow I hope to be back on track with life. Already lost 1-2 pounds, 12 more to go!
Ok, so I didn’t do much the first four or five hours I was up, but in the past hour I’ve accomplished a few things:
Brushed my teeth. I may or may not shower tonight, but at least my teeth have been brushed.
Went grocery shopping. I stuck entirely to my list, and kept my total under $30 . I forgot how much more peaceful grocery stores are later at night. I also forgot how crappy this store’s produce is; I got some rather sad-looking habaneros (I like my spaghetti sauce to have a kick )
I stopped at a gas station for cigarettes (sigh) and gas.
Both of the pans I need to make my spaghetti sauce are dirty, but I don’t need to start it right away, will be up all night. I started a sinkful of dishes soaking; once those are clean, I will soak the saucepan.
I’m feeling pretty good about having accomplished something.
Did my grocery shopping for the week and managed to pick up the very last Christmas present that I had been searching for and didn’t think I would find.
I went for a walk with my nephew and sister We played on the swings—it was a lot of fun.
Unfortunately, I was paranoid that people were gonna kill me and that I was being watched
Today I woke up early then went back to bed for a nap for four hours… usually I would feel guilty and depressed and want to stay in bed.
But I am trying something new. Instead I am not upset, I’m grateful I don’t have a job so I can be well rested! It’s okay if I slept in, the day isn’t over yet! I had a headache and my nap cured it so I was just taking care of myself and having a break.
So now I’m going to get up and make coffee and food! And act like it’s 9 in the morning, not 2 in the afternoon