Today I missed day treatment and was a little disappointed in myself. But it was not too late to turn a day around. I went out for my usual drink, then attended women’s support group and showered when I got home even though it was late and I was tired. I also stuck to my diet and ran around all day which is better than being sedentary. My fogginess from the cold is finally disappearing. All is good.
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Yesterday I did not want to brush my teeth at night but I forced myself.
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Yesterday I went to the hospital two different times! One to be emotional support for my mum to get a mammogram and another with my boyfriend while he got his injured hand looked at by a surgeon.
I have a very bad fear of hospitals. I always get severe anxiety and flash back to the half year I was forced to stay in one.
But yesterday I was able to stay calm and didn’t freak out like I usually do when people stare at me. The only thing that put me on edge was a security guard staring at me. I distracted myself by playing Pokemon and listening to music with headphones.
This is a big step for me. In the past I have been unable to visit sick relatives or see newborn babies (ew) because of my fear and hatred of the hospital.
It would almost always end with me making a fool out of myself somehow, either by getting mad and making a scene because I think people are staring at me, or me having a full blown panic attack. So I am very happy that I was able to go there and have an okay time.
Oh right and like @anon62973308 I also forgot about therapy and missed it. Usually that alone would make me feel so guilty I would stay in bed for the rest of the day. But I tried not to worry about it and I just distracted myself!
{pats myself on back}
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Just checked my dad truck breaks in the rear duelies they were, and changed out the oil. And best of all I haven’t heard any voices today so far since the first time in forever usually it’s constantly that i hear it!
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I cleaned and exercised today. 
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Brushing my teeth before bed is such a big chore for me. I have been successfully forcing myself this task.
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Snacked on almonds instead of chips. 
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I took a shower after like, a week 
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My little victory…
“I found a way to help others out without getting fully attached to them. In here.”
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Today I drove out to pick up my medication, get car washed, sat in the tea shop drinking tea, drove home. I got this anxious feeling that comes around at night. So I tried guided meditation on my app tonight for the first time and it helped. Showered and playing relax playlists on 8tracks now. Now that I am journaling again, I look back on my year of journaling and feel I have been somewhat of a failure. I started journaling in the Summer of 2017. It is already 2018. I feel I was 18 just yesterday and now I am almost 27. All these negative thoughts. My memory is shot and when I reflect there is not a lot to work with. It is like living in 50 first dates. If only I can wake up one day and someone puts a kid in my lap and my life wasn’t a complete waste.
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Made a week without alcohol. Always interesting how you have spare time but trying to be constructive and doing a fair bit of exercise. Feeling good. Sleeping less which is a bonus but I’m back on the coffees drinking 1 a day. All in all a rather painless experience although it’s bloody hot out and I’d love a beer! Oh well. New goal is at least a month and see how much weight I can shift!
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such a lovely topic
proud of all of you right now
ot: i’m emotional a little 
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Today I have… had two different carpet fitters come in to my home which I was very nervous about, but it was fine, my living room is huge, it’s going to cost me £550 to carpet it and I’ve gone for black carpet with white speckles!
I’ve had my food delivery from Sainsbury’s, I get my oven fitted tomorrow so no living on microwave meals anymore, I can’t wait to cook although it will be lonely cooking for one! 
but I’ll invite my family round and cook for them!
I got a new tefal frying pan which was on sale 
I cleaned the entirety of my kitchen, it’s literally sparkling.
I’m also taking Oli to the doctors for his second set of vaccinations which I’m dreading, he’s not cried today but he will after them
So all in all, a productive day!
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Usually when I say “I want this” or “I wish I could do that” I look to see if I already have it or if I’m already on my way to achieving it. 9 times out of 10 I do.
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Took a shower this morning. Went to arts group. Currently doing laundry.
Giving myself a break later today and will play some skyrim and have an early night.
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Have you noticed how easy it is to drink on zyprexa…
It has Amazing anti nausea/gag reflexes in it.
It’s often used for chemo for those specific reasons
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I stopped smoking weed on christmas
I have been very consistent over the last month.
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if we were going to post a thread about your little defeats the list would be longer. but I suppose we should be optimistic…
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Lol perhaps 151515
My actual contribution to this thread is that I’m out walking in glorious sunny weather. 
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