Schizophrenia.com

Sometimes,sometimes

Sometimes I had difficulty to join in socially
Sometimes I had difficulty and personal restriction saying stuff I wanted
Sometimes I had bad mood
What do you have sometimes?

In most of the time in the morning I feel sleepy and lethargic, so I can not work in the morning;
In half of the time in the afternoon, I have a short span of attention, so I can only do a little reading and writing;
But I always hold some hope for the future, I always focus on the positive side of life, and fortunately I don’t have mood swing, anxiety, and physical pain like other members here do.
I am low productive yet very stable in mood and health.

Sometimes I’m too tired or distracted to care
Sometimes I just do NOT understand what in the world they are talking about
Sometimes I’d rather be doing something else then listening to people
Sometimes I have nothing to say

But then there are other times
When I’m awake and relaxed and I feel Ok
When I’m not tired and I can focus
When the conversation is just quiet and gentle, I can keep up just fine.

Sometimes I just want to stay in bed all day and do nothing.
Sometimes I wonder how I coped so much.
Sometimes I wish I could go off my medication so I can feel more alive again.

But something stops me from doing that - the sense of consideration for my husband and how he would cope with me being ill. And I know the only reason I cope and get out of that bed in the morning, is my husband and my love for him.

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