Sometimes I feel so stuck in a rut

I lay for hours in my bed and toggle between facebook and sz.com. It is all I do for a large part of the day. I’m so non productive and lack motivation and initiative. I feel that I’m stuck in a rut. I wish I can get my act together for a larger part of each day and do some interesting stuff or meet new people. But it is difficult. What can I do or how can I meet new people, make friends and retain a friendship? My best friend for the past 18 years died in April from cancer. Will I ever make new friends again?

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I’m really sorry your friend passed away.

As for your question, I think you could volunteer half a day each week to start with, that way it’s not too taxing. You could meet people through volunteering. Or maybe a mental health clubhouse that a lot of people on the board here talk about.

You will make friends again. Good luck.

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Thank you for the advice @anon84763962 . I tried to volunteer a few years back but nothing came from it. The thought have’nt crossed my mind ever since so I’m glad you suggested it to me. I will try to find a voluteering job.

Unfortunately I do not live in a large city anymore so there is not a mental health club house where I’m staying.

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Yes, I am sorry about your friends death @Fellowman.

@anon84763962 gives good advice, maybe you can volunteer somewhere or join a clubhouse.

I am doing stuff around the house but most of the time I feel zapped of all energy, and I don’t do much.

I come on this site way too much, but I kind of prefer to be left alone, and have no interest in meeting friends in person.

Please hang in there, I’m sure that things will get better for you.

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Thank you very much for the condolence and sound advice you gave me @Wave.

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I feel the same way about being non-productive, lack of motivation. But I don’t have the want or drive to make new friends. I don’t trust people and getting to close causing me to get very paranoid about them reading my thoughts or controlling my mind.

It sounds like you are going through a depressive episode knowing your friend just passed away. Can you talk to your doc about it and get an antidepressant prescribed or increased for a little bit?

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I’ve been in a rut since my teens. I’ve tried over and over, jobs, relationships, friendship, school, relocation, therapeutic community farm, taking off into the great unknown, blacksmithing school, playing music. Every time I fell flat on my face, sometimes literally. Problem is I get out there on my own even with what passes for companionship in this world I withdraw inward and lose all touch with self.

I pretty much live a solitary existance these days, I play a few computer games, read now and then, watch ■■■■ on netflix, occasionally drink but I’ve been keeping that to a minimum lately. My life sucks more than I can comprehend. I find that not thinking about it or seeing it all at once is helpful in getting through each day and the next.

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@wrongemboyo really, really I can relate. It sounds like my life in a nutshell. I’ve lived the life of a nomad and have moved or relocated so many times. Two months ago I had finally moved to the sea where I always wanted to be. So maybe this time round I"ll settle for good.

I could’nt describe it better. Just when I think I met someone new I withdraw inward and in no time the new relationship comes to nothing.

It is also the same with but at least I have moved closer to my family and I have their support in a sense. My sister and niece stay with me and help with the chores but it is not the same as having a close companion. My long distance friends I have where I come from has also withered away and the relatonships is one sided with only me trying to keep it together with the odd whatsapp or some form of communication.

I have stayed in my bed for a few days now trying not to think about my situation and avoiding getting out there trying to just live a little. Each time I try to do something I find that it is baby steps…and I have improved marginally over the past few years but it is frustrating and hard to accept because I was such a go getter from before I got ill.