Sometimes I feel so stuck in a rut

I lay for hours in my bed and toggle between facebook and It is all I do for a large part of the day. I’m so non productive and lack motivation and initiative. I feel that I’m stuck in a rut. I wish I can get my act together for a larger part of each day and do some interesting stuff or meet new people. But it is difficult. What can I do or how can I meet new people, make friends and retain a friendship? My best friend for the past 18 years died in April from cancer. Will I ever make new friends again?


I’m really sorry your friend passed away.

As for your question, I think you could volunteer half a day each week to start with, that way it’s not too taxing. You could meet people through volunteering. Or maybe a mental health clubhouse that a lot of people on the board here talk about.

You will make friends again. Good luck.


Thank you for the advice @anon84763962 . I tried to volunteer a few years back but nothing came from it. The thought have’nt crossed my mind ever since so I’m glad you suggested it to me. I will try to find a voluteering job.

Unfortunately I do not live in a large city anymore so there is not a mental health club house where I’m staying.

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Yes, I am sorry about your friends death @Fellowman.

@anon84763962 gives good advice, maybe you can volunteer somewhere or join a clubhouse.

I am doing stuff around the house but most of the time I feel zapped of all energy, and I don’t do much.

I come on this site way too much, but I kind of prefer to be left alone, and have no interest in meeting friends in person.

Please hang in there, I’m sure that things will get better for you.


Thank you very much for the condolence and sound advice you gave me @Wave.

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I feel the same way about being non-productive, lack of motivation. But I don’t have the want or drive to make new friends. I don’t trust people and getting to close causing me to get very paranoid about them reading my thoughts or controlling my mind.

It sounds like you are going through a depressive episode knowing your friend just passed away. Can you talk to your doc about it and get an antidepressant prescribed or increased for a little bit?


I’ve been in a rut since my teens. I’ve tried over and over, jobs, relationships, friendship, school, relocation, therapeutic community farm, taking off into the great unknown, blacksmithing school, playing music. Every time I fell flat on my face, sometimes literally. Problem is I get out there on my own even with what passes for companionship in this world I withdraw inward and lose all touch with self.

I pretty much live a solitary existance these days, I play a few computer games, read now and then, watch ■■■■ on netflix, occasionally drink but I’ve been keeping that to a minimum lately. My life sucks more than I can comprehend. I find that not thinking about it or seeing it all at once is helpful in getting through each day and the next.

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@wrongemboyo really, really I can relate. It sounds like my life in a nutshell. I’ve lived the life of a nomad and have moved or relocated so many times. Two months ago I had finally moved to the sea where I always wanted to be. So maybe this time round I"ll settle for good.

I could’nt describe it better. Just when I think I met someone new I withdraw inward and in no time the new relationship comes to nothing.

It is also the same with but at least I have moved closer to my family and I have their support in a sense. My sister and niece stay with me and help with the chores but it is not the same as having a close companion. My long distance friends I have where I come from has also withered away and the relatonships is one sided with only me trying to keep it together with the odd whatsapp or some form of communication.

I have stayed in my bed for a few days now trying not to think about my situation and avoiding getting out there trying to just live a little. Each time I try to do something I find that it is baby steps…and I have improved marginally over the past few years but it is frustrating and hard to accept because I was such a go getter from before I got ill.