Sometime caregivers make me feel small


Sometimes my caregivers make me feel like I’m wasting their time.

They have a problem, not you.


Exactly. But because we have (so often) been trained to accept the input from others as God’s Complete & Unquestionable Truth, we believe what they say.

(Occasionally, they may be right, but I have learned to accept nothing without very solid evidence.)

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I never believe normies are right, because they have the power (because of the stigma), and whoever has the power, is responsible. At least that happens to me, I don’t know about others.

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The more I got into CBT, REBT, SIQR, the MBCTs, DBT, ACT, MBBT, etc., the more I was able to take my own power back by being able to question what I was being told in light of whatever evidence was available (I had time on my hands, so I tried to use it profitably) and get past being “dis-empowered.” “They” may well be at least partially responsible for my disease, but they’re not responsible for my recovery from it. That’s totally up to me now.


they are just trying to help you. :heart:
as sz we can create conspiracies where there are none. :bear: ( conspiracy bear ! )
i used to think all kinds of rubbish , i was being poisoned, mrs. sith was plotting against me etc…etc…
we are ill…they are trying to help us…that’s it.
take care :alien:


I don’t know, I have CBT, I will ask my doctor about that. But you are talking about a lot of therapies (?) right now. I don’t know about all of them, I 've only heard of mine and DBT. I wish I can take my power back on the future. Perhaps I am afraid I 'll become a bad person if I get my power, but that’s not my problem, sometimes the others don’t give it to me. Anyway.

I woke up one day and realized that no one was going to give my power back to me. I’d have to take it back. But not from anyone. Here’s one you can look at and see if it makes sense to you:

SIQR is conducted in six phases (the first three of which many pts can skip, tho a quick brush-up on critical thinking skills is usually a good idea, and easy to find on the Internet):

  1. Motivational interviewing as per William Miller and Stephen Rollnick on a platform of client-centered principles (see Rogers) to develop a trust-based collaboration between therapist and patient.

  2. Indoctrination (usually by means of psychoeducational handouts) in cognitive behavioral concepts developed by Ellis et al, Beck et al, Meichenbaum, Seligman, Simon et al, Weiner, Wessler et al, and Young; in the concept of defense mechanisms originally developed by the Freuds; in the concept of theory of mind developed by Premack; in critical thinking as described by Ruggiero; the concepts of shame and guilt as described by Tangney and Dearing; and in the logical fallacies or errors of reasoning developed by Socrates and the Enlightenment philosophers.

  3. Indoctrination and introductory practice in the use of mindfulness skills (see Dimeff and Koerner, Hayes et al, Linehan, Kabat-Zinn, Ludwig, Marra, and Ogden) leading to capacity to place oneself in a state of conscious awareness of one’s momentary affects (emotions, sensations, feelings) for the sake of both distress tolerance and systematic desensitization (see Johnson, and Schiraldi).

  4. Usage of Albert Ellis’s twelve “bad ideas” in the SIQR format of writing out with the non-dominant hand (preferred because of the stimulation of the motor and sensory neural networks in the non-dominant brain hemisphere usually associated with affect storage) or by typing (which, using both hands, has somewhat the same effect), then converting the original statement into a question asking “Is it true that…,” then asserting that the statement is true, then asserting that the statement is not true. The patient then switches to dominant handwriting (or continues to type) to report the affects experienced while writing the four versions of the “bad idea,” and follows that up with a brief essay on his realizations during the process.

  5. Usage of Beck’s and Freeman’s typical beliefs of the major personality disorders (as selected by the therapist) in the same fashion. The SIQR therapist who is solidly grounded in personality theory (see Clarkin and Lenzenweger, Ekleberry, Kelly, Livesley, Masterson, Millon, and Stone) may elect to draw from his or her understanding of the cognitive underpinnings of the personality disorders to develop new “bad ideas” for the patient to work through as described above. Several sessions may be devoted to this process.

  6. Development of the patient’s own notions of his logical fallacies based on evolving awareness (or “mindfulness”) into self-devised sentences to be worked through in the same fashion as stages four and five above.

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Thanks, but I don’t trust other therapies other than CBT!

CBT is an umbrella term for all manner of different cognitive-behavioral therapies. SIQR is one of them. It’s a physiology-informed overlay on REBT, which was (so far as I know) the very first of the CBTs. (You’ll note Aaron Beck, Arthur Freeman, Donald Meichenbaum, Martin Seligman, Sydney Simon, Richard Wessler, and Jeffrey Young being mentioned in the post. They all developed various types of CBT.)

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Oh, I see, I don’t know which one I have, I’ m going to ask my doctor next time!

One “brand” may work better than another for you, but I suspect on the basis of the conversation that it will be Matt McKay’s or David Burns’s reworking of Aaron Beck’s and Don Meichenbaum’s approaches. Let me know if the therapist give you a workbook and what the workbook is entitled.

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He hasn’t, and I don’t think he will.