Something I have noticed about my hallucinations after years of carefully observing and recording them in a journal

I only hallucinate people whom I know may not be on my side saying strange things. My die hard family and friends from way back have never seemed to say anything that seemed to be a hallucination, with maybe one or two exceptions, but I was either unmediated or on latuda which just made me worse.

My shrink told me “just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not after you.” I asked him to please repeat and he said it loud and clear twice. He asked me why I think people would be watching me and he said that all of the reasons I had given were perfectly valid.

I have a friend who has this illness. He and I were talking when I was having a relapse last year and he said “welcome to hell. Pull up a chair and grab a beer.”

I sometimes truly question if there is something unusual going on with me.

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i am so glad mortimermouse that you wrote that in. my pdoc didn’t say anything like that, but I think it is often (in my case too) not just paranoid thinking.

I feel watched everywhere too.

I even feel like some people are trying to invade the privacy of my thinking to check it out. I wonder what is in theirs!!!


These findings suggest that in childhood there may be inherent genetic
predispositions that orientate children’s behavior and thinking styles
in such a way that it makes them jointly vulnerable to being victims of
bullies and adopting paranoid thinking styles.

It doesn’t necessarily involve bullying. Persecutory delusions have grounds for us. I’m not stating they are not delusions. For us these delusions come from social interaction. I’ve had sz since my childhood. My hallucinations were beautiful when I was a little child. Negative symptoms and tactile hallucinations, persecutory delusions began slowly after I started the school. After the time I have to be a ‘social animal’.

People treat us different because we are different. Weird, much innocent and vulnerable as a child. I suspect I also have had Asperger’s syndrome since my childhood though I’m not sure.

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