Schizophrenia.com

Someone I like won't like me, I don't like someone who likes me


#1

Does this also happen to you?
This is always the case for me.
Why do you think this happens?
And how to fix this?

Sorry, this has nothing to do with sz.


#2

It’s strange that you always like people who don’t like you and the other way round, maybe deep down it scares you to be liked because you might screw it up, and you feel more secure with people who don’t like you because there is no danger of letting anyone down there. Maybe it has nothing to do but I know this happens sometimes :slight_smile:


#3

Yes I know it has something to do with fears…
But I don’t know what I actually need to do about it…
Because consciously I don’t feel any fears… well, mostly…


#4

I am married, so I don’t have this kind of embarrassing things. I think friendship is the best thing to seek.


#5

you must be young and single. wish you find lots of love.


#6

I don’t know…I think to a certain level it is a normal thing, I think most people always have this thing where they feel more attracted to people who ignore them, or are hard to get.
But how to overcome it…I don’t know how to help you but I am sure someone might have some idea :- )


#7

I tend to like poeple who I cannot even become friends with - nurse, psychologist, shop clerk - so I guess I’m unconsciously choosing people who I cannot be with.


#8

Starting a romance from plain friendship would be safe and comfortable. You may try it.


#9

I’ve tried it once…
6 years of friendship ended abruptly one month after we became a couple.
I ended it.
He didn’t do anything bad/wrong.
I just couldn’t take it anymore.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me.


#10

I think I can understand it. When I was young, I was exactly like you , who could not accept those guys who were as nice as a good friend. I just liked those who had the most abrupt expression and tough manners. I guess this had something to do with my father’s personality and the cold father-daughter relatioship. But after twenty years of marriage, I only like those men who are as kind as my husband, because I love my husband and only accept this type of nice men. I have been changed deeply by my husband. Now the father type men are no longer attractive to me.


#11

That’s good to hear…

I don’t know if the father-daughter relationship has something to do with my current relationship issue…
But there sure has been this uncomortable air between me and my father. I couldn’t reach him who was always silent and I didn’t know what he was thinking about. But at the same time I alwasy felt something sexual from the way he looked at me. He passed away 14 years ago.

In my 20’s, I was addicted to Internet love and working as a prostitute. I cannot help but separate something emotional and something sexual. I just couldn’t mix the two.

Around the same time I started liking men who didn’t like me.
I may have some fears that i cannot even face.


#12

I think because of the cold father-daughter relatioship, the daughter never knows how wonderful and attractive the friend-like men are and how much safty these nice men could bring to a woman.


#13

So does that mean that I still tend to be attracted to men who are like my father who is distant, and doesn’t love me?

Nice, friend-like guys are not attarctive because they aren’t like my father?

So is my father still the No.1 for me?


#14

yes, I’ve seen a lot of young women who are attracted to the men of their father type. And if their father had not been nice to her, the woman needs to break the circle with their good brain. I think I was lucky that I married a man out of my brain. If I married someone of my father type I would be hurt badly in the end.


#15

Gosh.
Just, gosh, I cannot believe this.
But yeah, I cannot deny that.

But how can I put another man over my father?
I feel a bit guitly about it.


#16

Lol so goes life. If only we lived in a perfect world.