Sometimes I want to say to my dad to marry the tv because he loves it so much, and he rarely does the work in the house. He has done that since I was very young. I have no memory of doing anything in the house or outside with him, other than trips that my mom forced my dad to do with us. He was always out studying and doing work. While he was gone, my mom put all her anger from child rearing stress on me because I was old enough and because my brother was only a few years old. I always do the housework and chores with my mom and the men do nothing around the house. They watch tv or play games. But I guess my dad is trying to do better.
I’m trying to rectify the anger by saying “he makes money and that’s why I’m living well” but I wish I can tell him to bring my childhood back. I never made any memories with my dad growing up, and he doesn’t even know what happened in the house. I feel angry and I feel guilty every day for everything. I feel so bad for the society for dealing with my ■■■■.
I’m tired of smiling and pretending that everything is okay. I’m tired of faking it all. I’m tired of acting like I’m strong. I’m done with this ■■■■.