I’m hanging on by a thread. I’m thinking about going to work tomorrow and dreading it. Last week was the worst week I have had so far, the covid understaffing is making things incredibly difficult.
I’m at this impasse where I’m like, is this really what I want to do for the rest of my life? Psych is so HEAVY. So horribly painful. And while it does feel like the field I was meant to be in, one I can do a lot of good in, one where I excel, I am really not sure how much I LIKE it.
It is exhausting having to remind the same psychotic person who cannot comprehend it anyways 500 times why no they are not going home right this second, they are court ordered to stay. It is exhausting to be screamed and cursed at by people who feel you’re holding them hostage for no good reason. It is lame to have patients you can’t provide the best quality care for because we are so overloaded w patients and paperwork. Exhausting to continuously have to pacify detoxers who are going through severe withdrawal because the damn doctor is giving them 1/6th of the dose of withdrawal med they should be getting. And pacifying pts in general after dealing with our a*hole doctors. Or to have to keep dealing with complaints and struggling to find room changes for the roommates of one person who’s room really should be blocked to roommates but the managers won’t do it because we need the bed even though everyone who gets it refuses it anyways. It is frustrating to not get a break or lunch 80% of the time or have to go with an exploding bladder for hours because there is only one toilet divided between 2 units for staff. (And a lot of the time its out of toilet paper anyways!!) Or being anxious over the next nurse on shift complaining that I left something for them to do when I was scrambling to stay afloat all shift. Or that I will make a mistake like forget to check what doctor a certain patient had and call the wrong one and get scolded.
I just dont know what to do. I need a break. I need more than 2 days off a week.