Social anxiety with woman

hi everyone i had psychosis 3 years ago .right now im taking maintenance dose and im normal except some motivation isues.but this post isnt about motivation.its about my social anxiety disorder …my problem is icant normaly talk with women in public and social occasions.its not usual shyness.i can talk with men in public …but i get cautious,anxious and out of topics to converse with a women in PUBLIC .i fear what others woukd think abt me like that social anxiety… im not that much attractive guy but if a women stares at me for long time or if she gives signal to approcah her n talk to her i dont have the guts to go to her …REASON IS : I FEAR WHAT OTHERS THINK ABOUT ME ,MY MORAL ,MY DECENCY ETC.but i dont have problem with chatting with those women in facebook ,whatsaap etc IN SHORT : I DONT HAVE THE GUTS TO FLIRT WITH WOMAN IN PUBLIC…is it normal ,any one with same issue …please help how to overcome this

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I’m not an expert, but I did see a video on youtube once and they did a course for people. As part of it they sat the guys down in front of an attractive woman and just had him stare into her eyes for a while. Once they got comfortable with that they were able to move up towards talking.

I’m not suggesting you do that, but there might be other stuff on youtube that can be more helpful?

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This is coming from a woman here but maybe try just talking to her instead of flirting with her. Maybe just talk to her like you would anyone else. If you feel the need, tell her she is very pretty and let her respond. That way there is no weirdness whether she is romantically interested or not.

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take deep breaths and relax. a lot of people here have the same issue too, including me, but you don’t see us posting all-caps, eh?

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I think all of us have some kind of anxiety in approaching women in public. I don’t like to do it in the day time (I don’t know, women are generally working and occupied). But when I’m in a club or a bar, I feel more comfortable.

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so you can talk with men. perhaps you should just talk to them as you would with men. if they don’t like it, then know that you now speak to everyone the same way without bias. no more two-face crap. that’s something to be proud about. intelligent people would respect that.

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I work on just talking to them as people. Work on small talk… not complimenting them or trying to make advances.

Beautiful women can be intoxicating regarding all the different anxieties they have stirred in me in the past.

I will say that I’ve mostly came out of it. The girl I’m sort of emphasizing the importance of talking to right not cause me to lock up quite a bit. My brain freezes in the face of coming up with something progressive to say. That said her and I have had our moments. I think that when ■■■■ is supposed to happen it just sort of crops up. Mutual interest from both sides just kind of prompts that kind of connection over time.

I will tell you it isn’t bad to let women see your nerves a bit. It’s cute and endearing and a sign of liking that doesn’t have to be said. If they make you nervous you should just let them see that. That way you don’t have to feel like saying “I like you” or something similarly corny or inappropriate way too early for the girl to seriously entertain.

I mean… getting a good connection with women takes a crap load of patience on the dude’s part… We just see it worth trying and want it too happen immediately… women are the opposite. They don’t want a strong emotional bond if it isn’t safe… they ■■■■ that up all the time and wind up worrying about abusive drama-queen foolbags…

You know they’re women, they’re latent mothers… it’s almost strange to say because from I’ve seen it is borderline creepy at times.

Anyways this is going to gear my head into an obsession for the day if I don’t back away from the topic.

That said I do like talking about this stuff… it keeps me more organized and a whole lot less paranoid Sz in regards to how I feel about women.

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better yet, assume they are not intimately attracted to men. and in fact, some are not. this truth helps me speak when i’m near them, at least. imagine if a man talked to you in the manner which you talk to them. forcing yourself onto a non-heterosexual person is not cool.

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I think at one point around the age 17-18 I was also a little nervous around very attractive men =)
the more you practice something, the comfy you get. So talk to a lot of women ?

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i too use to have social anxiety…sucks huh , aswell as not being able to talk to women easily , my voices have a suggestion for you and that is to “make the most of every moment” whats the worst that could happen ?

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I am anxious around every single person.

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i think that you can get yourself more comfortable if you’ll have few female friends, even from the internet. we are not that scary, at least big part of us isn’t :slight_smile: hmmm what else, ill tell you something - i know girls who think that shy guys are cute enough to be attractive, even if they are really ugly in appearance.
i personally think that men who have annoying personality (because you can never tell who will be your soulmate and who will annoy you, even if both kind of persons are good people) and are shy - thats their plus.
also protip: you can get some lesbian friends, they will encourage you a lot :))) i have the same with gay men

about talking in public: go out with friend who you talk on the net. you will feel better than with stranger

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First off, understand this is a very normal thing.

From there, try to get in situation where you talk to women in a normal day,

Like at the cashier, grocery store, friends, online etc,

Should help with the anxiety about it.

The other option is just to go out and do it,
Even if you fail, expect to fail, and you’d do it because it would break the barrier of it.

I’d just use tinder instead of trying to pick someone up though.

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There’s nothing to fear except fear it’s self

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