Social advance

The first half of my life was consumed with social advance. This was paramount. I was expected to study and do well on exams. I was to compete. I was to get ahead by every step of the way. And I did. For what purpose? I guess the goal was to make something of my life. But somehow also to make a lot of money. Then at age 25 I became severely mentally ill never to quite recover. I was aimed at the highest levels of society and now I am at the lowest level. Fortunately, I am not destitute, but I have lost the battle to rise socially. I do not have expendable income. My chief concerns are paying for medical care, food, rent, a car, and a little bit of money for going out to eat. I am not totally secure financially.
I can get by but I have lost that primary major goal of getting ahead in life. Somehow I see it as my fate as delivered by God, and the Christian message is reassuring to me, as a poor person who seems to have failed.
I think I have learned a major lesson that social advance is not everything. There are other things that are important too. However, I don’t think society recognizes why I am at the bottom of the social structure and there is a reluctance to help me.

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Actually I have been helped by society. I have great medical insurance provided by the government. I have subsidized housing. I have subsidized cell phone service. I should be more grateful.
Also I have a great mother and father and brothers.

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Are you at peace and content? That is more important than advancing socially. When we don’t get one thing we desire we often end up getting something better.

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It sounds like you don’t have a concept of self as a result of being pre occupied. My advice would be to use your time to do something you have always told yourself you don’t have time for. This will get you to see past your social status, and get to the person inside that seeks validation. Social advancement is a very robotic process IMHO. I’ve seen soo many people far victim to this fate, and in no way is it your fault. We are products of our environment. Perfectly imperfect beautiful products that are more than labels, or social advancements.

Compared to most people with sz you are doing good. If I could have a job and a car and my own place, I’d be happy. The rest I just need is people like friends and family, life lifting things like traveling and hiking, exercise, etc. I don’t think you are at the bottom. Most jobs aren’t glamorous and you would be considered a high earner compared to most of us here.

Thanks for the replies so far. I am in the process of finding a new sense of self. I have more time than most people and I read. I finally have about 6 friends. I have a certain self-understanding that i might not have had otherwise. I have just now been able to put into words what I have missed in life.

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Tukey - yes I am in a pretty good way in my life. There are many worse off than me.

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