Never give up hope. There one day may be a pill or something they figure out to make things better.
Back when I thought I was a samurai, I read a lot of Japanese philosophy and stuff that I try to forget as I"m embarrassed about the whole thing, but It went away eventually after torturing me. I had given up hope but then I got that hope tree and it got better.
the only thing I have left from that time besides a sword collection is the concept of Kaizen .
Kaizen, 改善, Japanese for “improvement.” When used in the business sense and
applied to the workplace, kaizen refers to activities that continuously
improve all functions.
But I applied it to myself, what can I do to improve myself even if its hard.
I know motivation is a victim of the disease, so fight real hard.
I had swords for the fight.
I wanted to relearn how to ride a horse, done.
Climb smokey mountain, TN done.
Become a ham, done, still much to learn there.
maybe take a pottery course, thinking about it.
I’m stable, and I’m grateful for it but also, I am not the person I was before I got sick. I try not to think about it. I graduated with a degree in Architecture and I have that on the wall and like my grandmother once told me, “they can never take that away from you”. I was late onset at 35 and now I’m 54. I used to think I was stuck but after I get my car from my brother who leaves for Iraq as a contractor in 7 days, I will be free to travel to wherever I want. yay! I have started exercising and look forward to a skinnier me soon. So life has unstuck me from the rat trap. I bet it will free you too if you have the patience for the tide to turn.
One thing at a time. My new thing is putting Mr’s clothes away instead of just folding them and leaving then on the dryer. I organized his whole closet last week and now it’s more manageable to hang things in order. It makes me feel good.
My friend once said “either you’re improving or your declining”. He’s not a self help author or a philosopher but I liked that. Stability in your state of regression/progression is rare. If you think like this it’s a good heads up if you’re not on the incline, you may be on the decline. You can always get better. I get what your saying though everhopeful but it can get better. First step is be easy on yourself you have a serious mental illness and to overwhelm yourself with pressure might be too much to handle. So be kind to yourself! Hope this helps.
Unless a new AP comes out that gives me more energy or something.
Even if I get more energy, my “stress threshold” has severely declined since my last psychosis. What I can mentally handle without being overwhelmed is now limited. I work 20-25 hours a week and I feel i’m at my limit.
I have no idea if this will ever improve. Maybe it will, but I feel my brain got damaged a bit after my last psychosis.
Either way, i’m stuck in this cycle of non-improvement. Negative symptoms / lack of energy / lack of long term/short term focus keeps me from going to the gym. A low stress threshold is keeping me from going full time for work.
So what do you do when youre stable and as good as you’re going to be?
I think the mental damage is done. Personally i go on in life where i stopped before the mental outbreak. But this time more cautious. Like for example somewhere in the workforce. Drop in centres etc.