This is really getting to me…
It started off small… just little glitches here and there… but now it’s getting bigger and I noticed it happening more often and for longer yesterday.
Memory wipe out… or getting thought stuck.
I’m in the middle of saying something… writing something and about half way through… gone. The entire thought is gone. Then I’m stuck searching frantically for the rest of what I was saying. Even here… I begin to write a reply and wipe out… one clean swipe and I can’t for the life of me remember what in the world I was going to say.
I’m told… when I do start up again, it’s not the topic anyone was talking about. I’m so happy to get any thought back, I blurt it out. Then I’m topic jumping, and off topic my sentences feel like pinballs… all different directions.
My family has been nice to me and trying not to make a big deal out of this… but I can tell by the looks on their faces… I’m confusing the hell out of everyone around me. I hate this feeling. I just have to walk away because I hate that expectant look… they expect me to finish my sentence… and I have nothing.
It’s like something just reached in and wiped the thoughts right out of my head.
My dyslexia has been getting worse and so has my concentration and my comprehension. I thought I was doing so well too.
I’m trying to stay calm. I’m thinking it’s the stress of this class and all the family hustle and bustle. I was happy to see my family… but I’m still feeling drained and detached.
The last week of this starts Monday… then it’s test review and finals. I’m doing OK so far. I’m looking at a B- so far. (lucky for extra credit work)
If I can just make it through Monday and Tuesday… then I have almost a month to pull myself back together, decompress, stabilize, see the doc… get a plan to avoid slipping into further numbness.
I am so tired of the wipe out. I do notice it’s even worse in the evenings. So it’s also tied to my energy levels.
I was wondering what others have done to over come this sort of brain erase…
Thank you in advance for any ideas.