Schizophrenia.com

So tired of the wipe out - (Thought blocking)


#1

This is really getting to me…

It started off small… just little glitches here and there… but now it’s getting bigger and I noticed it happening more often and for longer yesterday.

Memory wipe out… or getting thought stuck.

I’m in the middle of saying something… writing something and about half way through… gone. The entire thought is gone. Then I’m stuck searching frantically for the rest of what I was saying. Even here… I begin to write a reply and wipe out… one clean swipe and I can’t for the life of me remember what in the world I was going to say.

I’m told… when I do start up again, it’s not the topic anyone was talking about. I’m so happy to get any thought back, I blurt it out. Then I’m topic jumping, and off topic my sentences feel like pinballs… all different directions.

My family has been nice to me and trying not to make a big deal out of this… but I can tell by the looks on their faces… I’m confusing the hell out of everyone around me. I hate this feeling. I just have to walk away because I hate that expectant look… they expect me to finish my sentence… and I have nothing.

It’s like something just reached in and wiped the thoughts right out of my head.

My dyslexia has been getting worse and so has my concentration and my comprehension. I thought I was doing so well too.

I’m trying to stay calm. I’m thinking it’s the stress of this class and all the family hustle and bustle. I was happy to see my family… but I’m still feeling drained and detached.

The last week of this starts Monday… then it’s test review and finals. I’m doing OK so far. I’m looking at a B- so far. (lucky for extra credit work)

If I can just make it through Monday and Tuesday… then I have almost a month to pull myself back together, decompress, stabilize, see the doc… get a plan to avoid slipping into further numbness.

I am so tired of the wipe out. I do notice it’s even worse in the evenings. So it’s also tied to my energy levels.

I was wondering what others have done to over come this sort of brain erase…

Thank you in advance for any ideas.


#2

i have these things happen to me as well and i agree with your assessment of it being (if not caused by, then certainly not aided by) stress.

are you getting adequate sleep? eating regularly? if there are things that help you de stress, now would be the time. for me, it can get into this vicious little cycle where i’m stressed about being stressed…or stressed about not being able to not be stressed. anything to get out of those thought patterns helps. running. i do that a lot. being outdoors in parks or wilderness is useful for me when i’ve hit my limit of interpersonal interaction. personally, being away from media helps. i have a dog and he goes a long way to de stressing me. being away from harsh lighting. i’ve tried meditation and yoga…to no avail, but if it works for you, that could be good. groups…open easel is nice for me. some groups are stressful though, so it depends on what works for you.

i also find prn xanax and zyprexa, depending on whether it’s more panicky or just that i’m becoming more discombobulated, help. i don’t know if you employ such means, but i also find that nipping things in the bud, so to speak, overall gives me much better results than letting it sit and thinking i’ll take that step later.

hope that helps and that you’re feeling better soon. good luck with finals!


#3

I also have this problem. But I’m pre psychotic. I believe it is because of that. My short term memory is a mess and I forget what I was talking about all the time.


#4

Yeah. I was told last week to eat a carrott every night before bed. I hate having to peel carrotts.

Doubt carrots are even memory boosters.


#5

You have taken on a lot in a fairly short period of time. Maybe you are stretching yourself a little thin and with the possibility of SAD need some extra rest and relaxation time.


#6

it is stress…and tiredness.
you are doing a great job, don’t be so hard on yourself.
when the exams are over, and you have had a few good night sleeps, your mind will improve.
if it makes you feel any better…my ocd is doing my head in…i thought i had a cap on it !!.
remember where you came from…and where you are now…pretty amazing mr bond.
take care from :alien: and a hug from jedi :rabbit: bunny.


#7

I find that caffeine and nicotine help my concentration skills quite dramatically. Coffee, caffeine pills, preworkout, cigarettes- all help my cognitive abilities. I notice that caffeine makes me smarter


#8

Maybe just take a step back and goof off. It helps me sometimes. Watch some Youtube videos. Go in your room and close off from everyone else or step outside if you’re somewhere else. Change your scenery often in social situations so you can just smile at your relatives as you walk past instead of engaging them in conversation. If you have smokers in your family go outside and sit with them.

Make some tea and try to stick to a routine. In the family visitation realm grab a good beverage and enjoy it, focus on drinking. It might help you center yourself if you engage in the tactile world. Focus on sipping, breathing, listening to your more loquacious relatives (gravitate towards them so you don’t have to talk as much).

You are going to do fine in your class. Sometimes I prepare myself for stressful classes by saying I’ll make a C in this class. I try not to, but it lowers the bar and I just do my own thing which gives me enough for a good grade.

I’m a 6th year Senior. I know how to do these things. :wink:

ETA: The best grade I made in my math class came after she pushed the exam forward and I only focused on not hearing voices. She also cut a lot out so it was a small test.


#9

Carrots are good for EYES. I don’t know if that is just a myth though. But I’ve never seen a rabbit with glasses. Fish or fish oil is good for the brain.


#10

The holidays can be very stressful. Use your wiles to get through those last few days of class. A B-minus is a very good grade.


#11

You can do it!! Just focus on each moment as it comes. I can definitely relate. It’s very frustrating. Doing school online helps a lot. I can get up and walk away. When it keeps coming and you can’t keep a thought it’s time to call your pdoc. Ask your sis if she can help keep track of how often it is happening. When you’re lying in bed imagine what your day tomorrow will entail down to what you’ll have for breakfast. Imagine what your perfect day is and feel it happening. Hang in there!! :sunny:


#12

You’re so close! Keep trying. I’m rooting for you… as you would say!