So, I have a younger sister, Laura. She has Crohns and has been in and out of hospitals as much as I have.
When I told my family I wanted to leave for Greece and not let my illness stop me from living my life, several of them told me if Laura had been the one to leave, they would have told her the same thing, that her illness is incurable and they’d worry she’d get sick and not get proper treatment.
My announcement that I was leaving was met with a bunch of protests and angry phonecalls.
Guess who just announced she’s moving to South Africa? Laura. Guess what my family responded? “Awesome, have a safe trip”
Where are her angry phonecalls? Her letters from family telling her what a mistake she’s making? Her worried messages from siblings telling her she’s breaking our mothers heart?
I don’t wish it upon her. But I feel unfairly treated.
My parents have started being more supportive towards my desiscion, so maybe they’re trying to do the same with her, but still.
Am I right to feel a twinge of unfairness? Envy? Anger?
Yes. Perfectly ok to feel slighted but family politic is one of those things.
I’m glad your parents are coming around. That is more important and other things you should worry less about. Hard to do though with families and such.
Support is only important when your falling. I think it’s great your spreading your wings and worry about the other things later. You do ok with what your doing then it all becomes redundant. Suddenly your the person who does well with a serious illness…I think that would be a far better reaction. Do what you do and prove them wrong…
You have every right to be angry at your family. Maybe it’s because your family is worrying about a relapse happening, or ending up in a hospital when you have too much stress.
But they have to understand that you are making a decision for yourself. You have a right to make a decision to make your life better, or to make your life fulfilling. If they perceive one relapse as a failure to adapt, that’s not right. Relapse can happen for us and it’s okay if we fall. We just pick ourselves up again.