Schizophrenia.com

So...it was only a dream?


#1

OK sorry for my bad English but im french and i just discovered this site. i don’t even know if what i got is called schizophrenia.so this whole thing started when i was 16 im now 21. soo yeah like a lot of you the tv was talking to me but i never found someone with my stories so maybe im still special…lol. so its started with philosophy i thought i was going crazy so much question about everything so i asked god to give me answer and he did. it was a long process but long story short i was the smartest guy on earth.I realized that no one is actually alive we are computer our brain work the same way like a robot lol. but i still believed that i was in control…we are in controle even if we are not its like a big hallucination. i believed that im not smarter but more aware then people i can read their felling like a pshycopath will be able to. And then the tv started talking.The Illuminati cult(lol i love them) saw me somehow and loved me it was beautiful story about love and illumination…and choping my head off while people were drinking my blood.don’t even know how i managed to not kill someone lol.i was living in a underground society were people could call me kill me arrest me they even told me not to smoke like they were my father and my mother…i was REALLY lonely. some time i stopped believing then it came back over and over again.one thing that made me fall again was that i strongly believed that the number 3 was the answer to life and a guy on tv asked what is the first number that come to your mind…i said 3 and he said 3. that was a long time . maybe 1 month ago it came back you know that movie the secret live of walter mitty well that made me fall into the dream again and now i dont know. the loved they gave me was…and now i think its gone.im all alone without the dream i got friend yes but they are weird lol. and on top of that i got the feeling that some girl from a strip club are following me and each time i come back to reality i fell really lonely…lol. Even if i want to be normal i dont want the dream to end.you know that song dark horse from katy perry well at the end you see someone on top of a pyramid well that’s me i hope so…so does anyone fell that there story is like mine if not well im going to accept this craziness maybe im really special no? i know that im not alone one time i was with a girl watching a tv show (american horror story) and they started to talk to her i could fell it i acted like nothing happened but then its started to get really personal we both get it but could not talk about it. It was god or Satan who know but if thats all a dream well god is to and that just killed me without god im nothing soo yeah im really lost tonight…


#2

thought i would say hi.
perhaps it would be a good idea to see a professional to get diagnosed properly.
take care


#3

saw one but i did not told him the full story like here. its gone now kinda but i don’t want it to be gone i want to fall in it again its so comfortable he did not gave me med because i did not want to stop all the drug and alcohol and don’t even remember what i told him lol


#4

Yeah, three.

When they first came i started looking at the clock at 3 over and over again, and then 111, 222, 333, 444, 555, 616, 911, and 1111.

Divide any number, or almost any number?, by three, or six, and you get a bunch of 3’s, 6’s, 1’s, 4’s, 2’s.

These numbers aren’t important to me though, im not saying that, but they can be important to whoever and also symbolic in nature if one thinks of them that way.

I think that whats his face, tesla, had a big fascination, or obsession, with the number three actually.

All that i know is they showed up and horribly maimed me for thirteen years straight and started showing me these numbers, three being one of them.


#5

I would recommend seeing the professional again, this time telling him a bit more. Some parts of this may be enjoyable and/or comfortable however some parts are not so fun.

Are you still using drugs and alcohol?


#6

hell yeah i am lol weed vodka and that thing you called speed its like extasy but with a different felling i cant stop the drug if i do all my friend will stop chilling with me thats the sad truth about drug lol. And the process is very long, i live in Quebec and they want me to stop all drug for 1 month then he could gave me a diagnostic i mean yeah im crazy i got it cant you just give me meds lol. And after reading some other story well im not seeing thing so maybe im not crazy right? some people here really need help. its over for me the dream has changed they are still talking to me but i dont live in there underground society anymore. But i thought i was special and now im just like everybody else… and that is making me cry like a 6 years old lol. The loved they gave me was BEAUTIFUL imagine millions of people loving you then all of a sudden no one know who you are lol. Not long ago like 2 days i still believed that they had a camera installed on my tv to watch me and following me everywhere. so is that schizophrenia or just paranoia lol


#7

i think you would feel better–mentally and physically if you could quit with the drugs and alcohol for even a short time until you got diagnosed by a psych.doctor…i sure hope the best for you.


#8

The doctor probably can’t give you a diagnoses when you are using so much because he can’t tell if the drugs are causing things or not. Meds don’t work right with a lot of street drugs in your system. It doesn’t sound like your ‘friend’ is really a friend and yes that is the sad truth about drugs. Only you can decide that you deserve better then that. It’s hard to say if what is happening to you is schizophrenia or drug induced psychosis. Even if it started out as drug induced psychosis it can lead to schizophrenia so you are taking a big risk by staying on the street drugs. Find another way to be special starting with being important and loving yourself enough to make some changes. You have read some of this forum and what some people experience is not beautiful or fun.