So close yet so far

I feel daily so close to wellness
Yet overtime I’ve been so far.
I see insanity I some things I’ve done and rationality in most.
Do you feel on the verge of wellness but never getting there

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Yes, that sums me up.

I feel it wouldn’t take much to make me feel a lot better but I never get there.

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Do you feel like you may be sabotaging yourself so you never get well?

If you’re seeing a pattern,

Usually the common denominator is you.

And from your posts here I can tell that’s probably the case.

I see my condition like diabetes, in the sense that yes, it can be managed, but it’s always potentially there if I fail to look after myself.

I just wish I could enjoy the gym again, the way I used to.

Just have to change my expectations from life.

I don’t really sabotage myself but occasionally I have profound insights which I need to express

I had to change mt expetcations from life and down to the minimum

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I sometimes feel as tho theres only an inch separating me from sanity but its a distance i cant cross.

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But I some how reduce the time of self care. Now I required only 5 hours enough for doing all my self care, daily including excercise, bath, meditation, breakfast, walking, tooth brush, shoo polish, trim beard, making tobacco etc. I didn’t able to do it all these in whole day during psycosish. I want to add study but found not interesting though.

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