''Sling blade''- the movie and my recovery, which maybe will never happen

My mom saw this movie yesterday, she said, its a very good one lol…
She also thinks, that i am not really crazy, even some of my friends say it… Maybe thats why the meds dont work on me… Its very hard still to see all my ill friends how they recover on meds… Idk why i am like that…
Ok, i bug too, sorry for that… But why i should be this psycho? :cry:
I had nothing, literally nothing for the last 20 years folks, how do you want that i feel? Not a single guy didnt like me, while my sz best friend had more than 100 partners in her life…
My mom was honest today with me. she said, that she doesnt believe, that i’ll recover after 20 years in one state… She talked that i am like this guy in the movie, mainly traumatized, not really crazy… But she also thinks, that theres the genetics too from my father… It looks like a mess now this to me… A trauma then or a real genetic medical and physiological disorder then? lol…
anyway… The men dont like me at all tbh… its hard…

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How do you know men don’t like you when you’ve been in your room for 20 years?

I can’t speak to your illness’s cause or the trauma factor,

But I know for sure, the reason not a single guy has liked you is because you’re not putting yourself on the market.

Keep pushing yourself to go out.

Maybe one day you can get on a dating app and actually meet some people.

I think that, cause before my dx i was going out. Ok, i was always looking at my feet, unable to talk, unable to look at the people’s eyes, but still, not a single guy ever didnt try to watch past through this… My friends were all ill too, but they had all the men around me… I was a witness of how we are at the table with my best sz friend, 3 guys around us and all the 3 were flirting only with her, not even noticing me. And because of that, this sz friend told in my back, that the men dont like me, cause i am not pretty… thats all…
i keep pushing now, for sure, i want to tell it to you lol :slight_smile: But in the best of the cases, it’ll take still some time if its possible…

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Isnt it unfair? To see my sz friend get better because of her meds, while shes saying this stuff about me in my back? wouldnt you have given up if no one was noticing you even? while i was out , in pain too…
why i am treated as ugly? and yeap, now i have nothing anymore…

you are not ugly @Anna1
don’t listen to people saying that.

Tough love.

I’ve been on the forum a long time and you do a lot of feeling sorry for yourself while making no changes.

You absolutely have to make changes in order to see any progress.

Meds only go so far.

You have to make the difference.

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You know the truth lekkerhondje? That i was even prettier than this girl… But i was consumed by my somatic disorder, by grief, by pain, this marks too… I guess this all doesnt make someone pretty… But it was hard to not been liked by anyone, no one didnt try to help… ■■■■ this girl, i counted on her, i helped her multiple times when she had her episodes… I had enough, even though if this sounds mean… But she slept even with one of my exes here in my house…
i try now, but my evenings are harder still, lots of suffering then, even physical one… I am burdened now probably by so much loneliness and isolation…
Thanks for the words though, @lekkerhondje… But i really lived myself as ugly for long, while i wasnt it…
Ill keep trying, i am not proud of my jealousy now either tbh, i experience it, i hate it now…

Sorry, i didnt want to sound megalomaniac by saying, that i was pretty… but i wasnt ugly i think lol…
its just that the somatics and the grief marked me a lot… i was outside before, not a single guy didnt try to help…
ok, am angry now…
maybe i’ll watch this movie now, to see how some others have the same issue as me lol…
But i will never forget how this girl said, that i am ugly… I didnt expect this from her, i didnt thought this about her… whatever…

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