about a month and a half ago i met someone and we were really compatible. we had fun. we laughed. i was very happy. then in late august they broke up with me after about a week of dating because we were “too mentally unstable to be together”. we both have borderline pd and i pulled stupid ■■■■ and overdosed twice and i was really confused but it turned them away. then we started taking again. i would uusally be bored. then they would call me at 2am and come over and act normal then ignore me again . i confronted them about it yesterday and idk what happened. i was being nothing but nice and they blocked me on all social media. how do i get over someone? i loved their company they made me happy. i liked waking up next to them…i got attached to easily and i feel my heart sinking. i feel like no one will love me so i cling onto anyone who gives me attention. they explicitly told me they liked me a lot. so i was just like wtf.
Specifically my case. I didnt find a permanent solution myself…so can’t pretend I know the answer. The best advice I can give is to try to be aware of attachment thing whenever you starting to like someone. And try to go easy. Get the book about it. Know your flaws…your enemy.
Drugs…and borderline…that’s just a catastrophe. Im sure you know it.
It sounds like you need to work on yourself before you can be ready to have a stable relationship with someone else. Go to therapy, try to kick the drug habit, concentrate on being happy with who you are as a person. Inner peace is a very attractive quality.
@Sarad thank you for the reply. im trying to work on myself . i have been but its still not good enough i dont know. living with BPD is so ■■■■■■■ difficult
@Ninjastar ive been going to therapy and dbt. i didnt overdose on illegal drugs i took my lithium. but i do have substance abuse problems…its how i cope…which i know is unhealthy. thanks for the advice <3
It’s good that you’re trying. Are you still having suicidal thoughts? If so, you might need a change in medication. As for the rest, just keep trying, and eventually it will get better. It took me a full eleven years to reach a point where I was stable enough to be in a relationship. Everyone I dated before then probably hates me now because I wasn’t capable of treating them well.
i have suicidal thoughts almost constantly but theyve died down a lot in the last few months. but theyre still there…usually just passively. ive been in 4 relationships and everyone has mistreated me. i think im capable of being in a relationship but maybe not because bpd kicks my ass always
I would say that two overdoses in the past six weeks is a sign you’re not ready for a relationship. It isn’t fair to put someone else through that heartbreak. Seeing someone you care about try to kill themselves is a horrible feeling. With BPD, the need for attention comes from a significant lack of self-worth. You can’t love yourself so you need someone else to do it for you. But that will never lead to a stable relationship, because your happiness can’t be dependent on another person. You need to do some serious homework and learn that you are worth it. Treat yourself the way you would want to treat a girlfriend. Take care of your own needs and do nice things for yourself. You need to show people that you honestly believe you are worth loving.
What is BPD? How does one differentiate on these boards between BiPolar Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder?
With BiPolar Disorder you’re either feeling sky high or you’re down in the dumps.
Borderline Personality Disorder means you lack social skills and you’re hard to get along with.
My interpretations anyways.
I think @Jayster meant how do you know whether the acronym BPD is being used to mean Bipolar Disorder versus Borderline Personality Disorder.
Thanks for clarifying that.
The acronym for bipolar is BP for borderline is BPD
And the unofficial sign for both is:
im talking about borderline personality disorder everyone!!!
@Ninjastar i wasnt really trying to kill myself just like it was a cry for attention. which makes me feel…shitty.m thank you for your reply i mean like my self worth is pretty stable. im ok with myself. i think im a good person but its like this inner reaction going on in my brain that is not stable