Sleep .. delusion?

I have slept for a grand total of three hours in the past 77 hours. And a total of 16 hours in the last… 5 days.

I feel really weak but I’m too afraid to go to sleep. I don’t want to discuss what I think will happen if I do go to sleep but I’m afraid my body is going to give into sleep without my permission any second. I don’t know how my brain is still on. Or maybe it’s not. I’ve been nodding off for an hour now and each time I jolt awake with a heart racing.

I want this to be done. My head is dizzy. My heart is pounding. I wish I didn’t have this disease.

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Why haven’t you seen a doctor?

Mostly fear or what will happen when I do sleep. And also I don’t want to lose my job.

You have to see a doctor. Immediately I would say.

I have a plan to get some sleep where they can’t get to me. I will carry that plan out as soon as my SO comes home. I’m hoping he will watch over me while I sleep.

Oh. My brain is very foggy. I want to clarify something. When I said “I feel like my body is going to give up on me” I was meaning that it will give into sleep without my permission.

I will edit that. Sorry to have miscommunicated.

If you have a racing heart and insomnia then please see a doctor.

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That is logical. I will reach out.

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This will happen if you don’t engage a health professional and get this problem resolved.

I have been there and know how you feel, but in the end the body has to rest.

Nozinan is literally the only med I have ever taken that puts me to sleep and keeps me that way

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You need to sleep if you don’t you could die.

I know you don’t want to talk about why you don’t want to sleep but I think you should try to confide in someone

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I will tell my pdoc next session. She knows I’ve been unable to sleep for a while.

Also I asked my SO to watch me sleep. He agreed!

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Updates when I wake up. I’m guessing I’ll be out for a while as I recoup that lost time.

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Slept for 18 glorious hours. I’m not feeling too different mentally but my heart quit pounding so that’s nice.

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Get a doctor to talk about this with. You have to sleep, you can’t get out of it. It seems the first order of business is to solve the problem that hampers your sleep. Staying awake is just avoiding or putting off a problem you will eventually have to face up to and solve.

Trying not to sleep is a bad plan, it’s just avoiding the inevitable, the inevitable is facing your problem and getting more sleep.

Sleep is especially important for people who have schizophrenia, not getting enough sleep continuously is terrible for your mental health and not getting enough sleep can cause other problems than you have now. IDK what would help. Sleeping with a stuffed animal? Warm milk before bedtime? Sleeping with the radio on?

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I have voices tell me that they will kill me in my sleep or drag my consciousness into another dimension if I’m not awake. It is terrifying. This is why I am afraid to sleep.

I talked to pdoc about it. We’re going to get me on meds. I don’t like the idea but I think I have no other options but to put my faith in the meds. I have exhausted all of my other resources and I’m still struggling. For now SO sleeps next to me or watches while I am out. Wish my luck finding a prescriber.

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Good luck and sounds like a good course of action.

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