I think I prefer now the dreams where I lost but fought with a full spirit, and it was an impossible situation but I fought to the very end. I think it makes your mind stronger.
before I started hearing voices I was still delusional, thinking I was some kind of prophet that could hear Godās instructions in my dreams or something, even though I couldnāt and never was. After I heard voices, they would tell me to do all sorts of stupid embarrassing random things in public. They often claimed to be God or Jesus, even though they werenāt. For a long time I was being told everyone I knew and loved was going to go to hell, and I didnāt really do anything about it. I made some internal decisions that made no impact in the real world, but I thought were happening in the spirit, and now looking back I canāt help but see myself as a selfish, hypocritical coward. I used to think I was this wonderful person, but now I wonder often if God will let me into heaven. I fear going to hell every time I go to drive the car, because I know i might die when I do. Everyone keeps telling me that Iām a good person, but I know now because of the decisions I made while psychotic, and because the voices pointed out while I was psychotic that Iām kind of a jerk. I mean, I donāt go out of my way to hurt other people, but Iāve been a jerk nonetheless. Now I spend all my time afraid of going to hell when I die, in part because the voices kept telling me I was going to, so now I wonder.
Moved to Unusual Beliefs.
Pixel.
(Wearing moderator hat)
My voices taunt me about the past
Poor thingā¦Youāll b okā¦ I used to think I was going to do great things for God & that I was some kind of God warrior. I think that many ppl from a Charismatic background are delusionalā¦
My voices got nothing on me, other than the fact that I was addicted to pornography as a young teen and have since struggled to completely recover.
Thatās societyās damn fault, donāt blame that ā ā ā ā on me. Thereās no reason I should have had open access to near-infinite amounts of that stuff at age 12. Congress should not have protected pornography, much less let it go commercial. The UK is doing the correct thing by overturning the tides of legality on it.
Really bearing a grudge against previous generations for letting pornography sit as legal for so many decades. I hate it with all my soul.
I have no problem with pornography, but I donāt think younger kids should be exposed to the hardcore stuff. By 13 I think it is natural to transition to a playboy magazine. I think it is harmless. Imagine if you were the ā40 year old virgin.ā You wouldnāt even know what a naked body of the opposite gender looked like without porn, nonetheless intercourse.
Erotica is different from pornography. Nudity & modeling does not irritate me, itās the hardcore stuff with actual people having smutty intercourse that bothered me.
Iām quite confident the lure will be dead when I am finally older than the previous generation that started this whole crock-pit; also why I am not pro net-neutrality - censor it, more govāt control & regulation, etcā¦
Yeah it seems like a lot of people on here are left wing. Iām a conservative.
The voice drove me so f-ing nuts in the '90s that I =did= start into personal history and insight work. So, yes.
From what Iāve seen a lot of people here have beeen brainwashed by their mothers into thinking watching porno caused their voices. Simply put, nothing youāve done justifies this death sentence! Donāt blame yourselves and man up. People WILL prey upon you in this vulnerable period to try to control you. Donāt let them!
I donāt know if you would call them āskeletonsā, but there have been times when I was so close to catastrophe due to my own stupidity. Catastrophe never happened, though. I guess I was lucky.