Since the SZ diagnosis/first psychosis

I have become cold hearted and fearful…

  • I used to donate blood all the time… now I just don’t care to, I hate needles and don’t even know if I can cause of the antipsychotics?

  • I even had signed up to donate bone marrow… they never contacted me to donate tho… now I am too scared of the pain (I’ve heard it hurts)

  • I volunteered in Africa… now I am too scared of planes… or to even be in a foreign country…

  • I used to want to adopt children or foster children… now I just don’t have it in me.

  • I wanted to be apart of the peace corp… sounds too intense for me…

Idk, so many things I used to care about… and not care about. I wasn’t worried about dying.

Is this the illness? Or just becoming older?

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I think it’s both

Maybe focus on what you can rather than can’t do

Sometimes we have to adjust to how we are at any given time, and have reasonable expectations of ourselves

Seems to me you want to help others. Could be something as simple as giving up a morning volunteering in a charity shop? Something simple might make you feel better

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This sounds similar to me.

I personally think it’s because I’m subconsciously thinking that the worst things could happen to me if I’m not careful because after all… I got ■■■■■■■ psychosis

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I honestly don’t know that I do… not anymore at least… I feel like I’ve completely lost that selfless instinct… or like I’m mostly just worried about myself nowadays…

Thanks for the response tho!

@Joker

It takes me more to get by focussing on myself but I’m still totally interested in getting on with others.

Yes. I might be totally more selfish than I used to be but that is what works for me.

I think honestly I’m far more practical. That isn’t bad!

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Totally… I always think of the worst possible thing that could happen…

I have heard people with extreme anxiety experience this too? I’m not positive

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Yes they probably do, always living on edge I presume.

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Maybe try to help in smaller ways. Joining the Peace Corp, flying to different countries and adopting kids are huge deals, especially if you have a disability (or whatever you want to call it). I feel good just by donating to a few good charities or giving cash and food to people sleeping on the streets.

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