makes a dummy. And wide open to MI.
Gotta start somewhere, get 'em while there young so you can train them to your liking. Better yet, have them yourself so you can start the training day one, and they will never know anything different.
(This was actually said to me)
Problem is, the older they get, the more you have to keep them secluded/isolated so they can’t compare notes with other people and possibly figure out that what they thought was normal, is really abusive.
Ah the brain, what a wonderful tool to use…
I think it depends on how you silence the baby. If you silence them by putting your hand over their mouth, or threatening or getting angry… then it causes a lot of harm.
After I make sure there is no wet diaper and they are not hurt or hungry, I like to hold them and tickle them and sing until they stop. Then I try to make them laugh. I also find that bright colored toys work well too. The look on their tiny face… OHHHHH
Many times, I feel that this is exactly what I did to my kid sisters life. I really does make me cringe now when she recalls some of the stuff I’ve done to her as fun or different or interesting.
i think the lack of a dummy would be even worse,
i think i was left to cry and cry and cry
i dont think i was neglected tho its just i wasnt given enough love or attention
and i may have been a very demanding baby lol
Babies are very demanding by definition. Just imagine yourself unable to walk or talk and surrounded by giants. No wonder people cry “Lord have mercy.”
it must be very scary to be a baby i never thought of it like that before,
thats why they need a familiar face like a mother, someone to cling on to,
they need to create an attachment to there mothers or it could have an adverse affect
i vaguely remember this from college but there are theories and things about babies and how they react
i think one of these things is called attachment theory- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_theory
thats the link about it from wikipedia its a bit of a hard read but worth it
basically a baby or infant needs the attention from the mother and if it doesnt get that things can go wrong i think later on, the brain is forming attachments which will set up how they think as they grow (another reason for me to think genetics isnt relevant in sz) but i dont want to open that can of worms, my mother was still a very good mother in my opinion.
My Mom used to have to sort of fight me to let go of my sis when she was a baby. I loved holding on to my sis when she was a baby. She was really warm and she would purrr and wrinkle her nose.
I do remember a lot of… “James… put her down now.”
“James it’s time to let go and put her down…”
My Mom says she once told me she was going to count to five. I took that as a “hide-n-seek” sort of cue and ran way and hid in the closet with my sis. To bad my baby sis wiggled and giggled… that blew our cover.
I didn’t like it when Mom would take her back. She didn’t cry much. People say this. She was not much of crying baby. She would bang on stuff like a judge with a gavel. So maybe her lack of crying was a sign that she was getting enough attention when she was little.
She doesn’t get as much attention as she use to, and she cries more now. Maybe there is a connection to that. But she hides when she cries so that confuses me.
I gotta say, SurprisedJ, that I agree with your mother. Your intense interest in your sister doesn’t sound right. Why weren’t you playing with friends your own age?
Babies cry because they cant talk, its their only form of communication. check their diaper or see if theyre hungry. Babies often cry when left alone. Chordy, may I ask how and why you are caring for a baby if you dont mind?
I’m not taking care of a baby. The provider’s granddaughter is here quite often and I have reactions to her although no responsibility involved. My reactions are a good lesson to me as to why I never had a baby.
Probably because I didn’t really have any. I scared them all away.
And you don’t think you scared your sister?
Reminds me of a process we all go through called individuation. It is the point when a child realizes that sometimes the people they ask questions to don’t know the answers and they should find information for themselves.
Usually happens around the teenage years, when the kids start claiming their parents are stupid or don’t know anything. Really they are just realizing that their parents don’t know EVERYTHING like they used to believe.
You’re not an abuser. The hallmark trait for an abuser is no remorse (until they’re caught, or because they got caught more like it)
I just can’t explain it well here, but it goes something like this, if you think about, and do things to benefit your sister, then you simply NOT an abuser.
Abuse is a state of mind,then an act, where someone intentionally takes for their own gain at the expense of another persons well being.
If you think you’ve abused your sister somehow, ask her. Then BELIEVE her answer. (Hint, if she says no, it’s true)
And…tickling babies IS fun, and they like it!
Babies LOVE to be held. The fact, that she didn’t cry much I think is a good thing.
I have a problem with babies that I just love to hold them too. Maybe that’s what made me a good babysitter starting at age 13. I babysat until I got a full time job at age 21. One new years eve I had 23 kids for the night, Parents just kept dropping them off.
I’ m mixed about not having any babies myself, wonder what kind of a parent I’d make…?
J. You’d make a great parent, because you care. That’s the best reason to be one.
its weird when i think of myself as a baby, i have this memory but it could have been a dream idk if it is real, my mum leaving me in the kitchen crying and all i can think of is why? like she was hard of hearing and she must have heard me crying so why would she just leave me there to cry? its pretty confusing but i was just a baby and i must have been pretty annoying lol.
My Mom has told me about a baby thing so much I sometimes feel like I can remember back that far. She said she would put my in my car seat and put that on top of the washer during the rinse and spin cycle and something about the sound of the rinse water and sloshing around of the washer would put me to sleep.
Thank you for that. I really did try an protect her. I would hold her a lot.
My very favorite was getting up early and sneaking in to my parents room where her crib was and she’d be awake waiting for me. I take her downstairs, feed her stuff and watch the look on her face if I fed her some thing new. I still remember her first spoon full of orange juice. Man did she wince. Then she kept sticking out her tongue.
She likes orange juice now.
I would think after all those kids, your mom would have been happy to share the child care chores. I know my mom did. My oldest brother was almost 9 years old when I was born. I was #4 of kids, and the only girl too. I can’t remember why, but he also thought I was his present from god. Small world?