Sick of attracting guys attention


#62

Hopefully you people can avoid such scummy people in the future, sorry for anyone who had this experience.


#63

I guess it could be hard if you’re super attractive. I’ve heard that it can be difficult to find guys that care just about your personality when you’re so attractive that a bunch of shallow guys take interest too.


#64

@Sarad. That’s different that’s two people being open and honest with needs and wants, I don’t have a problem with that. However, @Berru said she told some of her male friends she just wanted friendship, to hang, and some guy poked or touched her boob, that is an welcome advance. She laid her cards on the table and someone else reshuffled them, that is a trust issue. There are people ok with friends with benefits but they are upfront with it. One is an example of mutually acceptable behavior, the other is lack of respect for another’s stated needs or wants, lack of respect for another and maybe even manipulation. Nothing wrong with platonic friends, friends with benefits, romance, marriage any of it really as long as both people are on the up and up.


#65

Put it this way, if a stranger came up to you and asked “Can we have sex tonight?”. I am certain you will not accept. Obviously the guy has to use another method to slowly build up trust. Besides, I think it’s a total double standard. A women as a stranger asking a men out is extremely easy, but a men asking a women out as a stranger is much more difficult.


#67

That’s a straight up lie buddy. I have many guy friends, even a guy best friend and we are very very close. I don’t even want to really get into this because I’m sure others agree with me


#68

This is also kinda toxic masculinity don’t you think? You’re destiny can be whatever you choose.


#69

This is also dumb. She isn’t interested in getting a ‘mate’ she shouldn’t give up on making guy friends just because you believe that all guys can’t keep it in their pants. You should have more faith in your gender. Men aren’t animals.


#70

I have had female friends, sadly once they find a boyfriend or husband they tend not to want to be friends anymore , actually the last one I had, her new bf forbid her from talking to me, he was the very jealous and controlling type


#71

Men and women can totally be just friends. I’m so sick of the mindset that they can’t. Like for ■■■■■■■ real I’m sick of that getting used as an excuse

Look if you develop feelings for your friend who is your preferred gender and they turn you down the correct response is to back the ■■■■ off. Just be happy you get to be friends with such a cool person omfg.

I’ve had friends opposite my gender and guess what we were just friends! It’s possible!!

People hide behind this “if you weren’t so attractive” like bitch this ain’t a ■■■■■■■ meat market. Just because someone is attractive doesn’t mean you should disregard their boundaries.

In conclusion men and women can be friends but some people just refuse to acknowledge that fact.


#72

I’m sure this does happen, but please don’t think this is the norm. I have a boyfriend and we both don’t mind whatsoever when one of us wants to hangout with our best friend. (His best friend is a girl, mine is a boy) there is no jealousy involved.

We both have had our best friends since childhood and neither of us would ever want to stop being their friend. I could even sleep in the same bed as my guy best friend and there would be no issue. Because we trust each other and also our best friends would never make a move on us.


#73

@Berru,

You need to get better friends who will respect you. These “friends” who do not respect your desire to be only friends and touch you inappropriately are not really your friends. They wouldn’t be good boyfriends either. You need higher standards.

I know that’s blunt but I went through the same thing and that is what I learned from the experience.


#74

My closest friends are men and my husband’s closest friends are female. All platonic. It drives me crazy when people blanket statement that men and women can’t be just friends. It may be the case for some, but definitely not all.


#75

I think you are being too critical of yourself and how you feel. I think you are articulate and that your reasoning is sound. Perhaps you need to set certain boundaries when you make friend with these males, try to let them know that you just want to be friends and nothing more. And if someone hits on you, you need to let them know that you don’t want to get involved, and if they continue unwanted behavior, you probably should just cut further contact. Good luck.


#77

Nice to hear some of the men and women say that there are guys who respect boundaries and still will be your friend. Yeah set boundaries if they leave were the really just a “friend” to begin with?


#78

I don’t get men’s attention but they usually think I’m cute and pretty.


#79

Just a side note: I don’t see the need to flag a member’s post just because it doesn’t match your opinion/goes against what you believe it’s right.

Seems like we’re getting close (back) to a time when respecting difference means ‘as long as it doesn’t go against the consensus of majority’ .


#80

Why was @Genesis post flagged?

He didn’t post anything wrong, maybe not what everyone believes, but damn,

This thread got fiery.

No need to jump all over the dude.


#81

I just reviewed the post.

Calling people “man hating libtard unicorns” is not appropriate and violates forum guidelines on maintaining civility.


#82