Sick of attracting guys attention


#1

I’m going to sound like a whiny stuck-up byotch, but bear with me here.

I don’t want a boyfriend. I don’t act like I want a boyfriend. I don’t act like I want to have sex. I do have a guy-like sense of humor that I think a lot of guys connect with, and I do reply when someone tries to start banter.

I do, however, also seem to hang with a lot of lonely guys whose contact with females is very limited. I’m not saying that to be mean, it’s a fact.
Because I’m so nice to those guys and act relaxed around them, they seem to get the impression that I want to do more than friendly things with them.

I also have big boobs and long hair, and even though I do my best to hide the boobs and not get them noticed, guys seem to notice anyways and often find ways to comment on them or try to touch/poke them.

I think they’re confusing friendly feelings with lust and love, and projecting it on me, and I hate it.
I don’t want male attention.

How do I stop this from happening?
(I don’t want to stop being friends with guys or cut my hair short, though)

Again, I’m sorry if I sound like a self-absorbed bimbo, but it’s a real problem for me, and it’s making me feel unsafe and like I can’t trust guys. I want to be friends with them, and I want to be able to trust that they won’t try to take it further, and that the things they say are not secret attempts at flirting or making me interested in them.

Every time I think I’m making friends with a guy and he starts hitting on me, it breaks my trust in him completely, and I feel betrayed. I thought they wanted to be friends when all they really wanted was to get me naked :frowning:


#2

Can’t you just hang out with women instead.


#3

Enjoy the attention now, because one day it will fade and you’ll realize your best days are behind you


#4

But women are so boring. I have no interest in makeup or shopping or the Kardashians, and I know not all women are like that, but I just seem to get along with guys better in general.
If I were to eliminate most guys from my friendslist, I’d feel very lonely.

Guys aren’t as emotional, and when they do have emotional outbursts, they’re short and within reason, and then we’re cool again after a day or so. If you insult a girl, she’ll be mad at you for years.


#5

If you’re attractive you’re going to get attention. My friend doesn’t wear any make-up, it helps her fiend off unwanted attention.


#6

I never wear makeup, except for very special occasions (weddings, family gatherings, parties, etc. Maybe 4 times a year or something, maximum)

I don’t want to uglify myself in order to ward off attention, but I don’t feel like I’ve done anything to deserve it either.
I’m overweight, and I wear the clothes that are fitting and affordable, not sexy or revealing. In fact, I do my best to always look a little conservative if I can.


#7

I guess what I’m really wondering is how do I get guys to look beyond the boobs and see the person inside.
I want them to want to hang out with me and chill, I don’t want them to want to do me just because they see me as attractive.
And I want them to not confuse my friendlyness for flirtyness.


#8

Uglify is such a cruel word. I guess minimize the amount? I don’t know, that’s the best advice I can give.


#9

#10

You’re right, that was a bit wrongly worded of me.
De-attractify maybe?
I don’t know the word.

All I know is, I want to look nice and presentable, but I already feel like I’m doing my part not to look like I want attention or sex.
Like I said, I do my best to hide the boobs. It’s just hard sometimes because of the size :confused:


#11

Well that’s a little unsettling :confused:


#13

Not really. It’s just that women can be naive.


#14

And so can men apparently, seeing as the men in the study seemed to think their female friends were attracted to them even when they, often, were not :stuck_out_tongue:

That still doesn’t answer my question, though. How do I make it clear to the guys I meet that I’m “just” friend material, and that I will most likely never see them as anything but friends?


#15

there’s no friendship between men and women. only if one of them is truly ugly there can be friendship. otherwise there always be some attraction.


#16

Make a lot of poop jokes, they make you sound very unattractive and are sometimes funny :smiley:


#17

Either way I don’t think it’s possible. Maybe hang out with guys who have girlfriends.

Although they probably won’t want to hang out with you though as they’re already getting nookie.


#18

I don’t believe anyone is ugly. And it’s often the typically un-attractive guys who seem to want more than friendship with me. My theory is that a lot of girls are awkward or rude around them, and because I’m relaxed and friendly, they get their feelings mixed up and start thinking they want me, or that I want them.

It’s not because they’re typically un-attractive I don’t want them, I just don’t fancy guys that way very often.


#19

Try transsexuals then :wink:


#20

Or just hang around with your pets.

They beautiful as they do not speak


#21

Seriously? She’s talking about how she doesn’t want this kind if attention and your contribution is to bring up how good she looks? That’s pretty uncalled for.