Should I try to intervene with my homie's alcoholism?

I don’t have many friends,

But this broad is my best friend ever.

I would seriously marry her if I didn’t like men so much,

She feels the same. We’re soul mates.

We’ve been not talking quite as much because she went back to school a couple years ago and its been pretty intense for her. Last time I saw her in person, early this summer, she looked rough.

I mean, she’s gorgeous, just a beautiful woman, but she looked worn out and old. We’re definitely at the age where all our poor life decisions are manifesting themselves in wrinkles and sags, this was different.

After spending a few days together, I knew what the problem was. She was drinking, a lot, constantly. We talked about it a little and she assured me she was fine and that she was going through some weird stuff and not to be judgy.

We have a fully non judgmental relationship, I mean, you have to have full disclosure with someone. But this isn’t blowing some tinder date in a Chili’s parking lot, this is her life. She’s most definitely about to screw herself out of school and work, AGAIN.

I’m flying her out here, but I don’t know what to do when she’s here.

How do you address such an issue with someone so close that you don’t want to hurt?

6 Likes

Do you have any ideas?

1 Like

My advice is don’t go directly for a talk on alcoholism immediately. She will be offended and rebuke you with the less harmful cannabis smoking. Instead wait for the right moment when she speaks to you about her problems. To initiate this conversation, you must speak of your problems albeit lightly. It can even be one of those, “Remember when we did this or that… It was crazy.” Talks. Then ease into hee the truth, that it hurts you to see her feeling low. Follow the conversation by admitting you feel low at times. Then come to a word is bond agreement where you will match her days without a drink with something she might want to see you improve on. Not necessarily saying cannabis… but you know the deal. You have to be comprehensive with her not apprehensive.

3 Likes

If she’s an alcoholic all you can do is sit back and watch the car crash until she goes to AA of her own free will.

I’m an alcoholic. When I went to AA I thought alcohol was worth dying for.

2 Likes

Also you could check out

It’s for family and friends of alcholics.

2 Likes

This is kinda what I’ve been doing,

Just watching her self destruct and wait for her to hit rock bottom,

But it appears that there is no end in sight.

Every time I think “this is the wake up call she needed”, she picks herself up and keeps moving full steam ahead.

Its exhausting.

2 Likes

Smart Recovery online & in person support - www.smartrecovery.org

1 Like

I don’t really have any ideas,

I want to just be like, “you’re an alcoholic and you’re ruining your life, I’m in charge now…”

2 Likes

Does not sound like a bad idea. Though your propose she might reject. If you manage a success, please let me know how. Quitting starts at the self so if I may offer a suggest then perhaps you can convince her, if you use words right, to seek help herself or quit by herself. I am sorry for your friend and hope she gets help.

1 Like

Thank you, I hope so too.

Just laying it all out might work, but I don’t know.

There are a lot of weird details I obviously can’t include, and it looks like she could be in for a big hit to her career pretty soon.

I could intercept this whole situation while she scrambles in the chaos.

Its just painful to watch.

My favourite quote from Robert Burns.

Tho’ they may gang a kennin wrang,
To step aside is human:

1 Like

It may be painful to watch. I know how that feels. But the thing I always hear, if you cut them off and let them hit rock bottom, they will begin to seek help for themselves. I hope there is another way because truly I do not wish for anything terrible to happen to your friend.

1 Like

Honestly women drink more than men and its not a problem with them. Anyone who studied psychology knows this, and i would just go with watering it down if you really want to stop it.

nothing beats persuasion but a taste of freedom
– Illvoices

1 Like

Women can most definitely become alcoholics,

And I can’t water anything down because she’s going to school on the other coast.

Why would you think women can drink more and not have a problem?

2 Likes

I don’t think he meant it in an invesigative way. I think he meant to just state it as an undeniable fact.

1 Like

Interesting things those women.
I would have never thought they could require such fine goods.

I think you have to recognize the limits of what you are able to do. If she is a full blown alcoholic it will be nearly impossible to stop her on your account. Maybe you could probe a little, and find out how much she is drinking, but any form of addiction is a ■■■■■■■■■■■■.

3 Likes

Alcoholism is a disorder i think. I have experienced it. When an alcoholic takes a zip of alcohol its as pleasent then going to bed with a new person for the first time. Every zip of alcohol feels that way…a total rush.

So the alcoholic person is helpless against that.

Its ok to be an alcoholic but while drinking you should also live. It means if you are alcoholic also be a functional alcoholic. Do your grociery shopping…wash yourself…clean your room even if you are drunk. Smile to people.

Alcoholic are in danger of lettting go of live around them. And thats not ok. Not ok to fall deep into darkness.

2 Likes

I drink like…3 beers every 2 months. I used to drink 5x a week and a ton of steele reserve each time but I have slowly gotten better with my alcoholism because of medications. Naltrexone really helped me a great deal. But when I added Zoloft to the mix. The combination makes me only drink to remember what it was like. That’s my soul purpose in drinking the 3 beers every 2 months.

Naltrexone completely takes the pleasure out of drinking. And Zoloft completely kills the cravings. And both meds have helped me in other ways too. I will pull a page out of Erez book and say they will develop better treatments and cures for alcoholism and addiction in the near future and we won’t have to work as hard towards overcoming these addictions anymore because the meds will help us greatly.

Of course I still have this pot thing going worse than it was before I started the Zoloft. but it’s the lesser of evils for me.

2 Likes

Very interesting experience @Jonnybegood.

@anon62371846, she is a functional alcoholic, and its still bad.