Should I stay clean and sober

I will try to make this as short as i can. So I met my wife 15 years ago, we have been married for 10 years. I was 420 addicted and psychotic for about half the time. I have been on meds 7 years and alcohol and drug free for the last 3 years. I live with my wife, 3 kids and… my in-laws. I feel like i am trapped here i dont get out much and am always broke. Cheap rent and utilities are paid for so its a stable environment for my kids but now that i am sane i am not happy at all. I feel like ■■■■ was crazy when i was smoking but at least i had some fun. Any way i guess my happiness is less important than my kids but i feel like whats the point staying sober if you are miserable. Any tips or feed back about addiction or anything i said is appreciated.

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Your kids didn’t ask to be born. They deserve a father who can do his best for them so they stand a chance in this ugly world.
Once your last one turns 18 and free from your legal support, you can go back to being that fun, 420 smoking fool if you want, but why?
Addiction is only fun when your the addicted one, the rest who have to put up with your fun are less amused.

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Was your life doing drugs really so great and fun? Think about it. I only say this because most people have selective memories of their past. They think back on their exploits fondly while conveniently forgetting about their problems at the time or their stated of mind. Our brains just do this to us. If you are tempted to smile, try thinking about all the money you blew on drugs or pot. Think about the fear of getting caught by the police or your boss or your neighbors or friends. Think of going to fantastically negative bad lengths to get your dope, think
about the bad places, the bad people you had to be around in a drug lifestyle. Some people can possibly avoid these things but the average Joe who smokes pot knows what I’m talking about. Anyways, I think picking up that pipe or that joint again will not solve your problems. I think it will make it worse and since we are already dealing with an impossible problem drugs just add to it. You aren’t adult with a family. You can’t place drugs before your family. Being the father, their lives are literally in your hands and they are depending on you. Don’t ruin your life or your kids lives by getting a temporary good feeling which is just really a Band-Aid for the problems you have to deal with.

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good job bieng on meds and bieng drug free.

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Ya as addicts we tend to remember the good times and forget all the bad times.I am 3 years completely sober i dont even take benzos for anxiety anymore. I have stayed sober for my kids and will likely keep doing so. The real problems that smoking would put a band aid on as u said nick would be that ive been living with my in laws for 7 years now and im not getting along well with my wife. Also getting voices, anxiety, depression etc and just want some ■■■■■■■ relief for a little while. Oh and i am on meds in therapy am doing the best i can to give my kids a better childhood than the one i had.

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Ouch, I feel for you. Can’t blame you looking for a bit of escape, even the best in-laws are still stressful to live with.
Good for you being clean for 3years, and extra good you’re working on giving your kids a better chance.
Hope you can find a different outlet to give you the temporary escape you do deserve, just without all the strings addiction comes with and all the extra stress you don’t want to add to the mix.

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Drinking faded away for me, it was not really fun, yeah there was parties and lots of women around but as soon as I quit they all went away, not people I would call friends.

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You think it was fun. It hurts people around you and your kids need you. I was addicted to alcohol and morphine. I’ve been clean and sober from both since 2010. I still feel an urge to escape. But I use music to escape. I have the feeling of relaxation and being able to cope with anything in my head. That was MY reality. Family’s reality was me sleeping on the couch every day. All day. Not doing any chores or cooking food or helping with homework.

Drugs are a sure path to more disaster and unhappiness.

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Short answer - yes. Long answer - drugs and alcohol are terrible for those afflicted with sz. The schizophrenic brain is extremely sensitive and receptive to THC. My advice is to find a nice, legal and safe hobby to do. For example - painting, drawing, bike-riding.

I’ve struggled with drugs and alcohol a large part of my life. So I speak from experience when I say they’re a waste of time.

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