Schizophrenia.com

Should I, or shouldn't I?

I am struggling with a bit of a moral dilemma. I was hoping to get some outside perspective. I have songs that I have written for various people who have passed away. For example, there is one that I wrote for my Mother and my Aunt Frances who both died of cancer.

I loved sharing them with the family, but I’m not sure of my motivation in publishing them online. Am I trying to help people by sharing grief, or am I seeking accolades?

Or both? Anyway, I’m a bit confused. I will not put them online until I’m sure how I feel about it

You have to answer that question for yourself, but you could help a lot of people who have been in your situation by publishing your song.

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Thanks @crimby . I guess I feel more comfortable putting it on something like SoundCloud, where there is a space to describe what the song is about, and who it is about.

Of course, you don’t always see that explanation being displayed. I’m getting more okay with it though

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Today I met with my therapist. I told him that I’ve been writing a lot on my laptop about things in the past and how writing has conjured up new emotions and new perspectives and possibilities, just by virtue of writing. There’s no seance or voodoo magic to it, just typing on a keyboard and letting the mind go free, almost like a slightly different brain wave of consciousness - similar to being in the shower in the morning.

Therapist asked if I would ever publish it and remarked that I had lived quite an eventful life. I told him never would I publish. First, I’m not wild about everybody knowing everything about me. Even using a pen name, a determined person or one familiar with my odyssey might be able to flush me out of anonymity. Second, it’s my belief that I drove my father to kill himself, and making money off his death seems wrong to me, practically blood money. People tell me that’s not the case and a child doesn’t have that power and blah blah, but I know me, and I know what I did and what my motives and aspirations were, so we’re not going to debate that here or anywhere else.

Woah, sorry for going off the tracks. I’d vote no, keep your songs to yourself and family. It’s intimate and personal, and like it or not, if you put it on the web, it’ll be there forever. Some jackass may come across it and roll it into a mashup and totally humiliate you. Maybe I’m just guarded about personal grief, but I would not open that door to possibly let that walk through. My two cents.

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Thanks again @alien99 that’s exactly what I needed to hear. I swore as I was writing songs for my goddaughter, that they would never be published and only for her and her mom. I have stuck to that other than in exactly one song. I put it on SoundCloud, because I wanted people to know how proud I was of my Goddaughter. Her being born, and my being asked to be her Godfather saved my life. That I wanted to share

But for people who have passed away, it seems in very poor taste to say the least to publish them publicly

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This all seems very personal honestly but me personally I wouldn’t mind putting them on sound cloud to show my appreciation for the people that passed away in a way I feel it helps others appreciate them as well don’t know if that helps or not

Everyone can relate, that’s for sure. It has certainly helped me to heal. I’ll have to think this over more

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Both are fine to do. Nobody can tell you how to grieve. I will say that songs about grief and loss really help me on the dark days when I am missing someone I love.

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