I have every reason to be grateful. I have had some (relatively) good years. I have some material possessions. My life sucks in many ways. But I can blend in, in public. I have my job and my family. And if I didn’t play with my own mind so much I could be enjoying my recovery. BUT… I WANT MORE. I want a little power. I want some control. I want a little more money. I would like to fool around with my cute neighbor. (enough about that. TMI) I’m a little greedy and maybe it’s not realistic. But look at Bill McAfee. He has power, a wife, kids. He’s successful. Maybe I can do it too, but just on a lower level. My dad once told me that everybody wants a little power. A car, or nice housing, etc. This post may be a little confusing, but yeah, I could easily make a list of twenty things I have to be grateful for. Maybe I’m asking too much.
I think it is human to want more. That doesn’t mean you are ungrateful. It’s wanting more that makes us strive for better and work harder at whatever it is that is important to us.
Wow Nick, I can’t think of anyone who doesn’t aspire to have nicer circumstances. Be it material possessions, a nice car, a hot girlfriend, a nice house, whatever, it’s natural to aspire to have more. That’s what drives people. Hell no you shouldn’t feel guilty. That would be to deny yourself an intrinsic desire to better yourself. Do you feel guilty because you’re educating yourself while others are not? Probably not. But the end goal is the same: further your life, better yourself, and aspire to a goal. I’ve known you for a couple years and I’ve heard you tell your story. I know you’re an intelligent person. I can think of few people who are in your situation, have walked in your shoes, and have overcome so much. If anyone deserves a break and is worthy of nice things in life, it’s you Nick.
Hey, thanks Alien. You make sense.
I hope you don’t feel guilty for wanting more. You are just like everyone who wants to have a better life. Want is a very powerful motivator. Having a sense of want is healthy. For some people it’s hard to pinpoint what they want, if they even want anything. Some people have no want and they drift.
It sounds like you have some specific wants in mind. You’re ahead on that count. Knowing what you want makes it more obtainable. I see you as a very smart man with a keen common sense. Your no-nonsense quick thinking has gotten you out of some very hard situations in your life. I have a feeling that little by little, you will find a way to get what you want. As my brother would say, you might have to take a different path to get there, but I have a feeling if you want it, you will achieve it.
Thank you for letting me post.
Thanks kidsister…
There is no shame in reaching out and grasping what you want. If your not hurting anyone, nor taking something not yours, then life is for the taking.
I think the rule is you can take as much as you can carry.
everybody feels the need to have some power, happiness, love, money, …etc. Don’t feel guilty, all human beings are like that. 
I think its only human nature to want more. If you want too much like my brother, its called greed. I want an understanding female companion, and better mental health of course. The things I want are not so much material things. But for you to want more is perfectly natural, or you wouldn’t be human
For me, having more money, having a more reliable car, having a slightly bigger place to live in sort of fills a different want. It’s this extra, that fill the want of security.
It’s a huge stress reliever to have a secure place to live, enough money for food, a car that will get you where you need to go on time, for me… a place with at least a bath and a half bath so when my kid sis locks herself in the bathroom, I don’t have to go outside to pee.
Having those things doesn’t mean your not grateful for how far you’ve come. I just see it as another rung in the healing. We had to get to a specific point to realize we wanted to go further.
Sort of like Maslow’s hierarchy of needs… I don’t hope you don’t see this as something to be guilty about, but a sign that your still growing and getting better.
We’re all a work in process.
Fooling around with your neighbor if you are married probably isn’t a good idea though.
Um unless you are married, fooling around with your neighbor sounds like a great idea. But Im a 20 year old bisexual and im lean and quite muscular so I just go for things like that. Sex is cheap (good condoms are like 2 bucks a pop) and extremely fun, the most fun two people can have!
More sex makes people feel way better.
Don’t drink his kool-aid, Macphee promotes himself above all else. He can put his pic on his magazine but it doesn’t mean he’s important outside of it.
Maybe he got off track somewhere. I believe his intentions are ( or were) to help people. But business is business. I think he carved out a niche for himself, that can be seen as inspiring. I have subscribed to his magazine for more than 4 years now. His ego, or self-centeredness or selfishness, doesn’t mean his magazine can’t help people. The magazine is a little expensive though. You seem to be a little cynical about some things but it’s realistic in many cases.